Of Things You Can't Control
by Anima Sola 86
Summary: Katsumi is a wanderer. She has no home, no family, nothing. Yet one day, she wakes up in a strange place, welcomed by a friendly one-eyed man. From that day on, she has yet to discover that there are things in life, she just can't control. Kakashi/OC
1. Prologue

**Of Things You Can't Control**

_**(even though your name has "control" in it)***_

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**Prologue

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_Goodbye._

_Is this the best way of starting a story? Maybe it isn't. But it's the only way I can think of right now… because this is the end. My end. _

_It's over. I can feel it._

_If only I had known about this moment earlier… I would have done many things differently._

_I would have stayed with him. I _should_ have stayed with him…_

_Goodbye, Kakashi. It has been a pleasure meeting you. Thank you for everything. _

_Goodbye._

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_**A/N:** Hello and welcome to my first ever Naruto-fan-fiction.

Yet this is a bit more than just Naruto-based. _Oh, it's complicated._ But don't let me confuse you already. I'll say just this:

This story is set in the **Naruto-universe**. There are ninjas and hidden villages and ninjutsu, genjutsu and taijutsu. There are also characters that belong to the Naruto universe (yes, you've spotted the name "Kakashi" already – and as there are no other characters with that name (that I know of), you are right. It is Naruto-Kakashi).  
Then again, there are some characters that don't belong in the Naruto-universe (but we'll come to that later on).

This story also sports one or two Original Characters in the leading roles. Well, one at first (more are in the making and will appear later on…). So. OC, you say, huh? Yes, and I really hope to not make her (yes, her) a Mary Sue. Please tell me immediately if you think my OC is turning Mary-Sue-ish. But then again… this is quite subjective, isn't it? Oh well. Never mind.

Alright, this Author's Note is getting longer than the actual prologue, hehe.

Oh, by the way: The Prologue and the Epilogue (which will come sooner or later, I'm sure) are working as some kind of frame. The following chapters ALL happen BEFORE, like a flashback or sorts. Or you can say the Pro- and Epilogue are some sort of foreshadowing, foresight, premonitions, whatever. You get it. Also, those are the only times I'll switch to the first-person-narration. The following will all consist of third-person-narration.

So, without further ado, I welcome you (again) to my first Naruto-fan-fiction. Bare with me.

Thank you for reading and reviewing! Enjoy! (First chapter will come shortly after this, I promise!)

(Do I need to add a disclaimer? Ah well, the _name _"Kakashi" belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. There.)

* What's up with this sub-title? Hoho, you'll find out. Later.


	2. Chapter 1: Waking Up

**Of Things You Can't Control**

**(even though your name has "control" in it)

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_**A/N:**__ Please note that this is not what happens after the "Goodbye" of the prologue.  
The following chapters all happen BEFORE the prologue. Kthxbye!

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**Chapter 1: Waking Up

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She awoke with a start. Suddenly there was a sharp pain that ran through her left leg as if she had been electrocuted. Her eyes flew open, a silent scream clinging to her open lips. She sat up, both of her hands pressed against her left calf.

"Ow."

The first thing she saw was her bandaged left foot. Why was it bandaged? Was it broken? Well, it hurt badly, so there had to be something. But how did that happen?

Right after asking herself how her foot had ended up hurt, she finally took a look around the room. _So_. She was sitting on a bed, facing a wall with a door. Turning her head, she saw a window behind her. And a windowsill with several pot plants, a few books, an alarm clock and two picture frames. She leaned around to take a closer look.

The left picture showed a tall blond man with a brown-haired girl, a black-haired boy with goggles, and another boy with silver hair and a face mask covering everything but the eyes. The girl and the tall man were smiling, the boys looked apathetic, annoyed or at least too serious for a happy photo shoot. The other picture showed almost the exact setup. There was a happy pink-haired girl, a black-haired boy, who looked grumpy, and a blonde boy, who stared at the black-haired boy in anger or annoyance. The silver-haired man behind them was smiling – yet he was doing so with only one eye, the other was hidden under a forehead protector. He was sporting the same face mask as the boy from the other picture.

It was then that she recognized the symbol on the headbands they were all wearing.

The Leaf. _Konohagakure_.

She was in Konoha? How did she get here? The last thing she remembered was running through a forest somewhere in the Fire Country, chased by a few bandits she had tried to rob. Then… _oh_. She had fallen, right? And probably hit her head in the process. Yes, definitely hit her head. It was pounding like hell. A hand crept up, soon pressed against her damp forehead.

Another "Ow".

She took another look around the small room. There was a desk beside the bed, sporting a few scrolls and other documents. Other than that, the room was empty. Spartan, really. _Seriously_.

Where the hell was she?

Slowly leaning on her right foot, she tried to crawl off the bed. As her feet gently met the cold wooden floor, she turned her head around to gaze through the window. A lot of rooftops. Some power lines. Water tanks. A cityscape. Bright daylight covering everything. So this was Konohagakure? She had never planned on visiting this village. She had her reasons to avoid large crowded areas.

That meant… someone had taken her here.

Had she been kidnapped? A rush of panic flew through her body. _Wait, wait. Don't panic. It doesn't look as if you're held hostage. You are free to leave. You could escape through the window. If it's open. If your foot works. _She doubted the latter. Testing that issue, she carefully tried to stand up, concentrating her body weight on the uninjured foot. It proved to be difficult. Stumbling forwards, she almost knocked the documents off the desk. Leaning onto the table top, she suddenly had the urge to listen. There were soft noises beyond the door. Against all better judgment, she decided to sneak closer. She had to know where she was and how she has gotten here. And the answer lay right behind that door.

Her hand was on the door handle, slowly pressing it down, until… The door creaked loudly. _Damn!_ She flinched and quickly leaned back against the wall, her heart racing inside her chest. The noises stayed the same. She took a deep breath, before attempting to open the door once again. As the gap was big enough to peek through, she leaned around and looked into another room. A living room-kitchen-combo as it seemed. There was a couch, a coffee table, another window to the right, a door to the left and a small kitchen with a counter separating the two parts of the room. The walls were sporting several bookshelves.

There was also the back of a tall man with messy silver hair, who seemed to be cleaning the dishes. With his back turned to her, she thought it safe to open the door a little wider. If she made a quick left turn, she could make it to the door without him noticing. If only her foot wouldn't hurt that much.

Her plan failed when the tall man turned around. She stopped in her tracks. Even though it was only a single eye that fixated her, she felt as if he stared right into her soul. It was the weirdest feeling. Then said eye creased into a smile. She blinked.

"Hello" the man said in a relaxed voice, yet with a friendly undertone.

She blinked again.

"How's your foot?"

"My… foot…" she mouthed distractedly. _Oh. My foot!_ "It hurts. What happened?" she then asked with a little more strength.

"You sprained it. You might also have strained a muscle or two. I'm guessing it might take a while to heal." She watched him putting away the dishes as if it was just normal to do that right now.

"Why am I here?" she asked, carefully walking closer. There was still the counter and the couch plus table between her and the strange, one-eyed man.

"I brought you here" he said, in the same chit-chat-voice that just seemed too weird for the situation.

"Why? Did you kidnap me or something? I can't remember giving you permission to bring me here!"

"That's because you were unconscious when I found you" the man replied casually.

Unconscious? _Wait, what?_ She had been unconscious when he had found her? That man had brought her unconscious form all the way to Konoha? Her _unconscious_ form? There was absolutely no emotion whatsoever that could fit the situation. She stared at the back of his green vest, focusing on the red swirl in the middle. Who was that guy anyway?

"But why did you bring me here? You could have left me in the forest." She tried her best to keep her calm, even though she was twitching on the inside.

"Not with those bandits around. They seemed a bit angry at you…" The man turned around, his eye smiling at her distractingly. "I was just trying to help. Do not think anything else of me. You are free to leave whenever you want. I'm not keeping you. I just thought you needed a place to stay and rest before your foot is completely healed."

She blinked. Why was he… so nice to her? "You… you let me stay here until my foot is healed? Why don't you send me to a hospital or something?"

"I figured a wanderer like yourself doesn't like crowded places that much."

"A wanderer like… how did you know that?" She _was_ a wanderer. That was true. But she had always thought she didn't look like one. How could he tell?

"Well, I was just assuming. You tried to rob those men, right? Before they turned out to be bandits themselves. You need money, you have only the bare essentials with you. You don't have much, I saw your backpack – don't worry, I didn't look through it. You wander from place to place, don't you? You don't like to be trapped in a place for long. The first thing you thought was how to get away from my apartment as soon as possible, am I right? Even now you're always looking at the door. You want to run again."

She stared at him in mild surprise. He was good. Wait, could he read her mind or something? "Well, yeah. But so what? That doesn't explain why you brought me to _your place_! You have to admit that that's a bit strange…"

"It is" he said with a smiling eye, leaning against the counter. "I'm sorry. But I just wanted to make sure that your foot heals correctly. I couldn't leave you. I couldn't make somebody else care for you either. Please don't take it the wrong way, I just want to help you."

_Help_… It's been a while since anyone had wanted to help her. She usually didn't need any help. Since she has been nine years old, she had cared for herself. It had been tough at times, but almost seven years later she had grown used to the fact that there was nobody around to help and support her. So she had no idea how to react to someone who was trying to help her so willingly, without her asking, without any reason as it seemed. Even though she had at first thought bad about him, she didn't anymore. He didn't seem to be the type to force anyone to do anything. He was nice. He wanted to help.

"I guess I don't have another choice, do I? So… I… accept your… help" she mumbled, without looking at him. She cleared her throat. As she looked up again, he had walked around the counter towards the couch. She stiffened a bit, but he only sat down, watching her curiously. "But I'm free to leave, right?" she asked cautiously.

"Yes, you are free to leave. I wouldn't advise you to do that too soon. You might lose your foot. There's no running in your current state."

"But… but I'm not sleeping in your bed again!" she exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest.

She heard him chuckle. She couldn't see any face expression due to his mask except for his smiling eye. It was interesting how much he could express with just one eye, though. "You can have the couch if you like. Or we'll find another arrangement."

"And… it's really alright for me to stay here just like that?"

"I already told you."

"Well, then… I… I need to know who you are before I can really accept the offer…"

"I thought you already accepted my help?"

"Your help, yes, but that doesn't mean I accept your couch as well."

"My name's Kakashi" he then said, looking at her encouragingly.

"Katsumi" she replied shortly.

"Katsumi, nice to meet you. Will you accept my couch now?"

"I might" she said with a tiny smile.

"It's a done deal, then" he said finally and leaned over the coffee table to grab a small orange book.

She watched him closely, while he flipped it open and started reading where he had left off. She tilted her head to read the title. "Icha Icha Paradise?"

He looked up briefly. She met his gaze.

"So, your name's Kakashi and you like to read porn in your free time. That's just enough information for me to think that you're a very, very weird man. Care to prove me wrong?"

He lowered the book, leaned back against the couch and smiled with his eye. "That does sound weird, doesn't it?" He chuckled. "Well, I'm a shinobi from Konohagakure, as you might have guessed. I'm the leader of a Genin team. I spent most of my time on missions. And yes, I like to read Icha Icha because I think it's very well written."

Katsumi snorted at his last comment. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." He watched her, the smile fading slowly. "What about you, Katsumi with the sprained foot? Do you care to tell me something about yourself? … You can sit down, you know?" he added, as she once again tried to keep her balance on her right foot. It was really hard to stand correctly with a sprained foot.

She sighed quietly, before following his asking, sitting down on the other side of the couch, as far away from him as possible. _Damn, there's a chair! Why didn't I see that earlier?_ She turned her head to him.

"Well, I'm Katsumi, I'm a wanderer as you guessed correctly. I don't have a home. I left my village… when I was nine years old. I don't have family, I'm not an educated ninja, I'm just a wanderer. Because of that I don't have that many hobbies… Well, wow, I do sound boring, don't I?" she closed with a sigh, while looking at her hands.

"You're not boring" she then heard him say with that soft, almost expressionless voice of his. "You have quite the troubled life. I find that fascinating."

She almost cracked a bone as she looked up at him in surprise. "Fascinating…?"

"And sad. I have no idea how it is not to have a home to return to. I do know how life is without a family, though. It's not always pleasant, right?"

Katsumi stared into his eye. Dark grey, as she now noticed. "Of course not" she said quietly. "But I learned to cope."

"Why are you wandering, Katsumi?"

She continued watching him closely. She had no idea why, but she liked how he said her name. It sounded nice. "I don't know. I just never found a place to stay… a place where I felt at home. I don't bond with people that easy…"

"Really? You don't look like the shy type."

"I am, believe me" she replied, looking across the room for a change. "It's only in situations where I don't have another choice that I might talk a bit more. You really don't leave me any other choice."

"I'm that persuasive, huh?" He chuckled.

She smiled a bit. He was. "You are a smooth talker."

He smiled at that. Putting his book on the table again, he leaned towards her a bit – there was still a lot of space between them – and looked at her. "Are you hungry?"

"Hmm?" That surprised her yet again. "Wait, you're not only offering me a couch, but also food?"

"You are also allowed to use the bathroom, you know?" he replied laughing.

She grinned slightly at that. "I feel as if I shouldn't accept this kind offer… I mean, I don't know you. You don't know me. And yet you're offering me to rest and heal at your place. Just like that. I mean, I've accepted that there is no ulterior motive, but still… I feel like hovering."

"You don't hover. I offered, you accept. Or do you want to do something for that?"

She stared at him. Was it just her or did that sound as if he was asking her to _work_ for the couch, food and bathroom? _Seriously?_

He rolled his eye. "Would you stop your dirty thoughts? I thought girls didn't have a dirty mind."

"I… hey, I don't!"

"Come on! All this time you expected me to jump you! I won't, okay? Unless you ask nicely…"

"What… You pervert!" She couldn't help blushing though.

Kakashi laughed at that. "I might be, but don't worry, okay? You are my guest. I offer you a couch, food and a bathroom. I don't expect you to do anything else. Deal with it. Though I wouldn't mind if you decide to clean the place a bit…" He stood up slowly, still watching her curiously. She stared up at him, still bewildered.

"Oh… okay" she muttered.

"So, are you hungry now?"

"I… I'm starving, to be honest." She decided to follow him to the kitchen, carefully keeping her distance.

"That's great. Let me fix something up for you."

"Won't you be eating as well?"

"What is this? Kindergarten? I only eat if you eat too? Stop that, already. I just had lunch. But I can watch you while you eat, alright?"

"Now that doesn't sound weird and pervert-y at all" she replied laughing.

He grinned – his eye did at least –, before he turned to the kitchen cabinets. "How about some instant ramen? That's all I have left here… I have to shop tomorrow, I guess."

"Please, don't overdo it. Give me some bread and water and I'm fine…"

"Then I would be a bad host, wouldn't I?"

She looked down, squirming. It still didn't feel right to invade this man's private space. Even though he offered it to her.

"Don't feel bad, alright?" she then heard his soft voice close to her. Looking up, she found him standing next to her, leaning down to her a bit. She stiffened slightly and blinked. "Be my guest. Please. That's everything I ask of you."

Katsumi nodded slowly. "Okay" she mouthed.

He smiled, leaned back and turned towards the cabinets again. "It's decided then. Ramen it is!"

She smiled at his back. _What a weird man… and what a weird day_. She had woken up in Konoha, met a one-eyed man named Kakashi, who had selflessly offered a place to rest and heal to her. It was weird. _Weird being the word of the day_. Yet, the longer she stood in this strange kitchen next to the strange man, talking about whatever came up, the more comfortable she felt. Maybe it was time to take a break from wandering. Not that she had any other choice to begin with. But still. She had to see this as a sign. Taking a break was a good thing. She had to rest. After seven years of wandering, it was about time.

And why not with this strange man…

Shoving aside every inappropriate thought, she decided to accept his offer.

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_**A/N:**__ And this was chapter one. Hope you enjoyed it. It's just the beginning._

_Also, a few notes concerning this story:_

_This story arc is set somewhere at the beginning of the Naruto storyline. Kakashi is 26 in this, he had only had a few minor missions with Team 7 (who are then of course 12 years old), and nothing major had happened yet. Katsumi (if you were doing the math) is 15-16 (she was 9 when she left her village + walking around for more or less 7 years = 15-16)._

_And yes, I see the age difference. Even though nothing had happened yet, you have to be aware that there might, this is a romance-fic after all. I'm not telling you what exactly will happen, but something will happen between Kakashi and Katsumi. DESPITE the age difference. You just have to be a bit open-minded, okay? Please? Kthx._

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_**Disclaimer-stuff:**__ All of Naruto-universe (including Konohagakure and Kakashi) belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Katsumi, however, is a figment of my imagination._

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_**Next:**__ Now that Katsumi accepted to stay at Kakashi's, what will happen next? And what are Kakashi's real motives? Find out in the next chapter(s)!_

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**_


	3. Chapter 2: Blushing

**Of Things You Can't Control**

**(even though your name has "control" in it)

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**Chapter 2: Blushing. Fainting. Remembering.

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It took her two weeks to realize that Kakashi was a weird man, alright. He was always wearing his mask. _Always!_ Even when he went to bed (well, at least she assumed he did, she'd never seen what he was doing behind the closed door of his bedroom). He might take it off when he showered, but it wasn't as if she was constantly watching him. He was the pervert, not her. Even though he hadn't done anything to prove that title except for reading his porn in the middle of the day. After two weeks, that seemed to be the most normal thing.

At least she had finally seen what was hidden under his hitai-ate. She had almost suspected him to only have one eye, but he did have another one, a closed one at least. And they matched in a weird way – even despite the scar running over his left eye. It made his face look even more interesting. She had yet to find out what happened to his eye. It wasn't as if they weren't talking, but they had yet to share their more or less juicy past. He didn't talk about his, so she wasn't talking about hers.

Kakashi had also turned out to be quite the chef. Even though he was on a lot of missions, leaving her alone a lot, he had cooked her the occasional meal, always surprising her with new recipes. He was a good host. The couch wasn't as uncomfortable as it looked, the food was – as mentioned – more than edible, and the shared bathroom really wasn't a problem. He had even given her a drawer in the bathroom cabinet. _How thoughtful_. He also didn't complain that she took her time in the shower, taking up almost all the hot water.

Every now and then he would check on her foot, changing the bandages, carefully caressing her skin while examining her injury. Those moments had been uncomfortable at first, but by now, she was looking forward to them. He had nice hands, even though calloused and kind of rough. And his touch was gentle and innocent. There was no other emotion behind his actions, not on his part at least. She, however, couldn't help blushing whenever he held her foot in his hands. It was weird.

_Weird being the word of the month by now_.

As weird as everything was, they were still nothing more than unusual roommates. Even though she still felt like a rude guest, a squatter, a hoverer, a sponger. She herself was a weird house guest to begin with. But she had accepted his offer. And she was willing to use it – at least until her foot had properly healed.

It was on a Friday night, as the weirdness intensified.

Katsumi was sitting on the couch, her bandaged foot lying on a pillow, the other leg pulled up to her chest, an orange book in her lap – having already cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom, when the door opened with a quiet squeak. She didn't look up from the book she was reading. It wasn't as if she didn't know who was entering the apartment. Fourteen days had passed, fourteen days that went past in almost the same manner.

"Yo, I'm back" she heard him say in that cheery-yet-lazy voice of his.

"Hey" she replied, flipping over a page of her book. She had copied his voice pattern by now. It wasn't that surprising, considering she had only heard _his_ voice for two weeks straight.

"How was your day?" he asked, as he walked closer. She heard him enter the kitchen area.

"Uneventful. I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen."

"I can see that" he replied. The refrigerator was opened and closed again. "Anything else?"

"Nope" she said, turning yet another page. "Someone showed up around noon. They knocked several times, but went away, when I didn't open."

"Why didn't you open?" His voice came closer.

"I don't want to be seen…"

A sigh echoed from the other side of the coffee table. Katsumi didn't look up. She knew he was watching her from his bedroom door. When she didn't say anything else, he disappeared for a moment. She could hear him walk around his bedroom. He was probably changing. He always did that when he came home from a mission. A few minutes later, he re-entered the living room.

She looked up finally. He was wearing his mask (of course) and a sleeveless black shirt. No hitai-ate, causing strands of his messy silver hair to fall into his forehead. Katsumi watched him return to the kitchen.

"How was the mission?" she asked politely, feeling as if she had to ask him about his day as well.

"Okay" he replied. The kettle sprang to life, almost drowning out his answer. She waited until it was done. "Have you eaten yet?" he then asked.

"No, I'm not hungry."

"You should eat more" she heard him say. Katsumi sighed, turning around on the couch to see him pour boiling water into an instant ramen cup. _Seriously?_

"And you should eat something else…"

"I'm not in the mood to cook."

"Maybe you should teach me how to cook" she suggested with a faint smile. "You know, I can do more than just clean your apartment."

He looked at her, his eye a tad too serious. "I told you, you don't have to do anything to live here. It's fine." He said _live_, not stay. So she was _living_ here… _interesting_.

"But maybe I want to be more helpful. Teach me."

"So you want to be the perfect little housewife?" he chuckled.

Katsumi stuck her tongue out at him. "Not that. But I want to be useful. It's been two weeks now…"

"And I don't mind if your stay will turn into more than two weeks."

She watched him closely. "You are too generous."

"I know. It really is a burden" he sighed playfully.

She rolled her eyes, but smiled, before turning around on the couch again, looking at the book in her hands. "Can I ask you something?" she then muttered.

"Sure" he replied cheerfully. She could hear him sit down at the kitchen table.

"I know it's a bit late to ask this, but I'm still wondering…" She bit her lower lip. It had been bugging her ever since, yet she never felt like asking him what she wanted to ask him. It was then that she realized something.

She abruptly looked up – just to see him having already finished his dinner. He had just placed his chopsticks next to the cup, looking at her questioningly, his mask neatly in place. "What?" he asked innocently.

He had to pull down his mask to eat, right? Two weeks and she had not yet seen him without it. And it wasn't even the first time he had eaten with her in the room. She wondered why she was realizing this just now and why she hadn't noticed it before. She blinked slowly, before looking down at the book. _As if it was that important to see what was underneath that stupid mask…_

"What were you wondering?" she then heard his voice from near the kitchen sink.

"Hmm? Oh, I…" Right, there was something else she was curious about. And it was of more importance than a piece of fabric. "Well…"

"Ask away, Katsumi" he said in a cheery tone, before walking around the couch to sit down in the chair opposite her.

She watched him closely. _Alright then_. "Well, I was wondering, why are you being so unselfish?"

He looked at her with no expression at all. _Yeah, fat chance with only one open eye and a half-hidden face._ He could at least raise his eyebrows or furrow his forehead. But no, he just looked at her. "Unselfish, huh?" was all he said. Even his voice showed no emotion. He really was a pain to read.

"Yes, _un_selfish. You let me live here…" Ha, she said _live_ as well! "…you give me food, you let me hog your couch, you don't seem to care that I take all the hot water and that I invade your personal space… and that I'm always around. That is what I call unselfish. And I was just wondering, why. There has to be a reason. I mean, I can imagine that you're a generous person, but nobody is _that_ generous. There has to be something else." She looked at him intensely, hoping to catch the slightest change of expression.

Even a blind guy would have caught the smile he threw at her. She felt her cheeks redden as his smiling eye got to her. "But I am not unselfish, Katsumi" he then said quietly.

She frowned at him (once the heat had left her face). "What do you mean?"

"I can live with you hogging my couch, stealing the hot water and emptying my kitchen cabinets, hell, I don't even mind that you're reading my favorite books without asking…" She blushed again, as she realized that he had noticed her reading Icha Icha. Her fingers tightened around the orange book in her lap. "… you can call me unselfish for that. But I really am not. I do have my reasons, that's true."

She watched him with wide eyes. "Well?"

He leaned back in the chair, one arm behind his head. "I really like my apartment to be clean…"

Katsumi blinked. _Was he… serious?_ She couldn't tell. He was still smiling at her. There was nothing else in that damn eye of his. "Um, what? You… like your apartment to be clean? So… you keep me as your… _maid_?"

Kakashi stood up, chuckling.

Her eyes followed him to the bathroom door. He was opening it, stretching a hand into the tiny room. "My bathroom had never been that clean" he then explained. She blinked again. He was walking towards the kitchen now, sliding a finger over the cabinets as if to test for dust. "My kitchen hasn't been scrubbed in ages." She kept watching him, speechless. He then walked around the couch, coming to a halt next to the book shelves. "You even alphabetized my books."

Her mouth opened, but she had no idea what to say.

He walked back to her, sitting down on the coffee table. Very close to her. She stiffened slightly, staring into his eye, more than puzzled. "Katsumi" he then said in that soft voice of his. She had trouble keeping the blush down. _The way he said her name…_ Slapping herself mentally, she cleared her throat. _What was wrong with her?_ "I appreciate the fact" he continued, "that you decided to do all that, I really do, and that's what makes me quite a bit selfish. Yet I didn't ask you to do this and I really wish you wouldn't."

"What?" she blurted out, her voice weak. Her hands were still gripping his book. Her eyes were fixed on his face.

"I want you to go outside, Katsumi. I don't want you to re-arrange my books or scrub my bathroom floor. Really. I appreciate it, but I don't want you to do it. You shouldn't feel obliged to do so. Go outside. Meet the people of Konoha."

She flinched at his words and looked away slowly. "But…" She swallowed. "But my foot… You said I shouldn't walk around too much…"

He leaned closer, his eye creased into a smile. "I said you shouldn't run away with that. Besides, you seem to be able to move around my apartment just fine."

She didn't reply. She couldn't. She didn't want to go outside and meet the people of Konoha. It was the biggest exception that she was living with another human being to begin with. That was weird enough and so unlike her. She would never really get used to not living on her own, even though she tried her best. But to go outside into the world… she couldn't. There were too many people. And… well, she wasn't afraid to make new friends, but to meet old enemies. She blinked slowly, feeling the slightest bit of desperation creeping up.

Suddenly, his hands were holding her injured foot. She flinched so badly, she almost kicked him in the face. Her eyes were wide, as she looked at him. He grinned at that effortlessly. She could feel him lightly massaging her ankle. Her cheeks were burning.

"You might have your reasons to avoid the outside world" he then said softly, his eye on her foot. "But being a wanderer, I thought you might miss a bit of fresh air. And no, cracking a window isn't the same."

She stared at his hands and how his thumb drew light circles on the skin just above her bandages. Her heart was racing. "But… I have no idea where to go…" she whispered feebly. There was a lump in her throat and she hated herself for that.

"I could show you some nice places" he suggested lightly.

Suddenly, his kindness and the touch of his fingers were just too much. First she flinched, then she kicked out of his grip – he pulled away in surprise – and then she jumped off the couch, used her injured foot in the process, flinched again, stumbled and – even though she had tried to achieve the opposite – found herself in Kakashi's arms as he caught her before she could fall face first onto the old wooden floor. Her face was burning, her left cheek pressed against his chest for a few seconds, before he guided her back to the couch, his hands leaving her shoulders once she met the cushions.

More than embarrassed, she stared at her hands, blinking nervously.

She heard him walk away from the couch. His voice came from somewhere near the kitchen. "I know it must be the weirdest situation for you, sharing this place with someone like me. You seem to have spent too much time on your own. I can't even imagine what that must be like. I'm only suggesting that you consider taking a walk outside sometime or another. It's up to you."

"What… what do you mean "someone like you"?" she asked quietly, trying hard to suppress the feeling that had caused the little stumble-and-fall-incident. She was not someone caught up on emotions and being all cuddly and warm inside, so why was she acting so weird? _Seriously, what was wrong with her?_ She wiped her face and looked around, finding Kakashi leaning against the stove, his eye on her.

He chuckled lightly. "Well, I don't consider myself the perfect roommate."

She watched him silently for a moment. "How would you describe the perfect roommate, then?"

"Hmm, let's see. The perfect roommate is supposed to clean his share of the apartment, shop for groceries once in a while, and stay out of the other's business. And then there's me, relying on you to clean the place, and butting in on things that I shouldn't have so much interest in." He shrugged. "No, I'm nowhere near perfect…"

"But you do shop for groceries once in a while…" she stated, smiling faintly. He did. Even though she had only witnessed him doing so once or twice in those two weeks. At least he didn't let her starve.

His eye creased into a smile. "You're a kind girl" he said.

They looked at each other silently for a moment, before Kakashi pushed off the stove and walked towards the bookshelf. There, he hesitated. Katsumi watched his back, while her heart was still racing inside her chest. _Stupid heart, shut up already! _She cleared her throat and was about to look away, when he turned around and their eyes met once again.

She felt as if he had caught her in the act of staring at him. Yet he seemed to ignore her flaming cheeks.

"So, what do you think?" he asked cheerfully.

She blinked slowly. "What?"

"About Icha Icha" he replied, smiling. "Seeing as you are still clutching it, it must be quite entertaining."

A few seconds ticked past, before she finally realized what he was saying. Irritated, she looked down at the orange book in her hands, slowly turning it around to look at the title, as if she had only now realized what she had been reading. She sighed, before she looked up at him.

"You were right" she then said, trying to keep her calm. "It _is_ very well written. Also it's not as porn-y as I had thought. I'd imagined it to be a lot more graphic…"

He laughed at that. "Really? So you do have a dirty mind, huh? Imagining such things?"

Her eyes widened, a heavy blush creeping up her face. "That's… that's not was I was trying to say… I…"

Kakashi's eye smiled at her. "Don't worry" he said, winking. "I don't judge anyone."

"No, no! You're getting the wrong idea, I was just… I wanted to see if…" _Oh, for crying out loud! _She exhaled loudly, as she looked down in embarrassment. She had been curious as to see whether Icha Icha really was that big a deal. It was a great piece of literature, she had to admit that, not that she would also admit to really like it. No, she was not a closet-pervert, even though Kakashi seemed to think she was!

Seriously, this was turning into the weirdest night ever! She had never blushed so many times in a row. There was something definitely wrong with her. Maybe she was sick or maybe it was because she hasn't been outside in two weeks. _Yes, that must be it._ That was why she was imagining things (not those things Kakashi thought she'd imagined!), with her heart racing and all that heat in her cheeks whenever she looked at the silver-haired man with his defined features and his muscular arms and his deep voice…

_Oh dear_. There it was again…

She could have slapped herself violently! Breathing deeply for at least a minute, she decided to change the topic by standing up from the couch she had been hogging for several hours now. _But where to go?_ Kitchen? Nah, she wasn't hungry. Not even thirsty. Bathroom? Talk about awkward moments… wait, why was it awkward to go to the bathroom? Because he was still standing there, probably watching her every move… Yet she had never before been uncomfortable going to the bathroom when he was home. _What was her problem, really?_

Realizing she was still holding Icha Icha between her fingers, she had the faintest idea what was happening to her. She had read something like that in the very book she was carrying around. The main protagonist had met a woman who he had first cared about like a friend. Then one day, everything had changed. Just like that. (She had not quite understood why and how, really.) Every touch had become "electrifying", as Jiraiya-sama had written; the slightest meeting of skin had been causing certain reactions. And the looks they had exchanged… well, maybe Icha Icha wasn't as graphic as she had thought, but it was still very detailed in writing and quite suggestive still – it wasn't hard to imagine what was going on, really (even for her).

In this very moment she wished that there was a writer or at least a narrator inside her head, telling her exactly what to think and explaining to her what was going on. Because she had ideas, but she wasn't certain about anything. And why was that? Because she had absolutely no experience whatsoever! She had been living on her own for the last seven years. Sure she had picked up a few things, on the streets sort of; even though inexperienced, she hadn't been living under a rock. But there were still moments she wished she had someone who would answer her questions. Someone who would listen, who would be there for her…

_Wow, from having a racing heart because of hormones to being lonely because she was a freaking wanderer without a family and a home… all in one night!_ She sighed deeply. Seriously. Maybe taking a walk wasn't that bad an idea. Katsumi leaned down to place the orange book on the coffee table. She could still feel Kakashi's gaze on her back. Trying to ignore it, she carefully moved forwards, hobbling uneasily towards the door.

"So, review-time is over, I take it?" she heard him ask.

Review-time? Oh, right, they were talking about Icha Icha, before she had decided to bolt. "Well, it was enough talk about smutty books for one evening, anyway…" she replied without facing him. The door came into reach. There was sweat clinging to her forehead.

"Wait, now it's smutty again? What happened to well-written?" His voice grew fainter.

"Why can't it be both?" Her hand reached up to grab the door handle, when suddenly…

Someone turned the lights off. Her knees went weak, something inside her skull exploded into a tiny flash of lightning. There was no pain, just a feeling of falling. Everything was in slow motion. She blinked, trying to see through the darkness. She fell, slowly, with no control over anything. Her lips parted, but no sound came out. She fell.

And was caught. Someone was close. She could hear someone calling her name. Not close, but far away. Before she could ask herself, why someone was close when their voice was far away, she drifted into the darkness.

* * *

_She was standing in the middle of a large market place. There were burning buildings all around her. The flames crackled in the soft evening breeze. There were no other sounds. She was walking towards a large pile that rose in front of her. She was so small, the pile was looming over her like a huge black monster. Only when she came closer, could she see what it consisted of._

_Bodies._

_As she stared into the dead eyes of her own parents, a scream echoed through the burning village, until darkness fell, drowning out everything…

* * *

_

Katsumi awoke breathlessly. She bolted up, her arms flying around in defense, almost knocking out the figure next to her. She gasped in shock as she realized where she was ("Couch…")… and what she had seen ("What…"). Without being able to fight it, she felt tears running down her cheeks. Why… why was she remembering _that_ now? _Why?_ She felt vulnerable enough as it was, but being reminded of the most horrible day of her life? Whoever was pulling her strings had a really sick sense of humor. She buried her face in her hands, trying to breathe evenly again. She had to fight it. She couldn't let it pull her down again. It's been seven years… She had to be over that by now… right?

Suddenly there was a hand on her forearm, gently pulling down her hands from her face. She blinked, before turning her head towards the man sitting beside her. His one eye looked at her more than concerned. She fixed her gaze on the scar running over his other eye; she had no idea why, but the ragged line over the smooth skin was really helping her to concentrate. She then closed her own eyes, before looking up at Kakashi, finally meeting his gaze.

She expected him to say something like "Are you okay?" or other expressions of concern (yet she hoped he wouldn't see how weak she was, because, frankly, she hoped no one would ever see her like that. She wanted to remain strong, even though it was just a façade.), instead he was saying: "I know exactly what you need!" She blinked at that, watching more than perplexed how he got up, walked into his bedroom and returned with a dark sweater in his hands. Katsumi blinked again.

"Here" he simply said, pushing the sweater into her hands. "It's cold outside."

_Cold… outside?_ "What?" she muttered, bewildered.

"You need a change of venue!" he explained – without really explaining anything.

She stared at him with her forehead furrowed. Still confused about her boiling emotions due to suddenly-re-appearing-memories and new-found-use-of-hormones, she was unable to get what he wanted from her.

Kakashi sighed, sitting down on the edge of the couch, watching her with a smiling eye. "You have been stuck in this apartment for two weeks. It's time you'll see something else." He tilted his head at her. "You do remember that you were already walking to the door, right? Before you fainted?"

_Fainted, huh?_ Yes, she had been on her way to the door, she had almost touched the door-handle. Then everything had gone black… she had seen… No! No more remembering _that_… and suddenly, she had found herself lying on the couch. _Oh!_ He… he must have carried her here, right? He… had touched… with his arms around her… _Oh, for crying out loud!_ Now she was blushing _again_! She exhaled deeply troubled. _Seriously, what the hell was wrong with her?_

She lowered her gaze and stared at the sweater in her hands. It was soft and large-looking. She could even make out a distant scent. His scent? Katsumi blinked. _Alright. Enough already! Pull yourself together now, will you? This is insane!_ She had never before been so wrapped in emotions. Never! She was a rational, controlled being. It didn't matter to her that some might even consider her cold just because she never showed any emotions. She just didn't know any better. Yet now… what was that? All emotions returning to her _at once_? This was really sickening!

"You're right" she then said – partly to herself, partly to him. "I need a change of venue. But… do you really think it would be a good idea to walk around with my foot still injured?"

"It'll be okay. You've rested two weeks straight. It's time to use it properly again. And by that I don't mean jump around on it or climb any mountains, just walking will be fine."

She looked down at her left foot. It was still a bit swollen, yet she had gotten used to the pain by now. _It'll be okay…_ But… another thought crossed her mind. Change of venue, a bit of fresh air, she was alright with that, but what if… Her gaze wandered back to Kakashi, who was watching with a seemingly bored expression on his half-hidden face. Will he… "Will you…"

"Come along?" he ended her question. Her eyebrows lifted up slightly. "Sure. I can't let you wander around the village all by yourself. You might get lost."

If he was coming along, was there really a threat to go outside in the first place? She smiled shyly. "Thank you" she then muttered, staring at his masked chin. Whatever lay underneath that mask of his, she now knew it was something generous. He has been so kind to her. The more she thought back at the time they had spent living together, she came to the conclusion that he was indeed a bit selfish. It couldn't be all generosity; he was also enjoying her company. Otherwise he wouldn't care about her getting a bit of fresh air, right? He could have spent the evenings in his room, ignoring her altogether. Yet he never did.

Maybe there was a reason why he allowed her to stay at his place. Maybe he was just as lonely as she was (yet she couldn't be sure. It wasn't as if she really knew him…). But everyone needed company, right? She had just now realized that.

Learning something new every day…

* * *

What Katsumi didn't learn was the fact that Kakashi indeed had his reasons. Reasons she wouldn't approve of. Reasons that would drive her away immediately. He wasn't being selfish. He was doing it for the greater good. After all, he was just a shinobi, following along his village's orders. That was all a shinobi would do… right?

* * *

_**A/N:** And that was the second chapter. A bit of plot (and foreshadowing, sort of) and some backstory-bits as well. We're getting there. Slowly._

_So, Katsumi discovered that she can't control blushing, fainting and remembering. Who can, eh? Kudos to those who actually counted the times Katsumi blushed in this chapter (I have yet to do that). It might be A LOT! Ah well._

_Oh and about Icha Icha. No one knows what that book is actually about, right? So I made stuff up. There'll be more about that in future chapters. You'll see. It might be important. Sort of._

_._

_**Disclaimer-stuff**: Kakashi and the people of Konoha belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Katsumi is mine, harhar. Instant ramen cups belong to THE GENIUS WHO INVENTED INSTANT RAMEN CUPS (I LOVE INSTANT RAMEN!). Yeah._

_._

_**Next:** Katsumi's going outside. First time in two weeks. HELLS YEAH! Can she remember how to walk? What will happen once she steps outside? Find out in the next chapter!_


	4. Chapter 3: Being Saved

**Of Things You Can't Control**

**(even though your name has "control" in it)

* * *

**

**Chapter 3: Hands that grab and Arms that hold.

* * *

**

"I look hideous!" she muttered as she stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. The sweater he had given her was way too big. It looked like either a weirdly fashionable potato sack or a very ugly dress. _Oh well._ She had tried to tie it up a little by using the green hair band she usually wore as a belt, but it still looked awful. Especially since the sleeves almost reached down to her knees. Yet she didn't have another choice, did she, seeing that the only thing she had left was the shirt-shorts-combo she was still wearing underneath. He had offered it, knowing that the rest of her clothes (which wasn't much) had just been washed and was now drying somewhere outside in the cool fall breeze. _Laundry day had to be today…_

Katsumi sighed deeply, quickly putting her red hair into a ponytail, before leaving the bathroom. Kakashi was sitting on the armrest of the couch, his arms crossed in front of his chest (he was also wearing a dark sweater now). He looked up when she emerged. And of course his eye was grinning at her. _Of course!_

She looked away. "Don't say anything" she said and walked/hobbled towards the door.

"I wouldn't dare" he replied and she heard him follow her slowly.

She stopped with her hand on the door handle, while slipping into her sandals with a bit of difficulty. "So… where are we going?" _Meaning: Can I be seen with you looking like this?_

He chuckled, seemingly noticing the hidden question. "Just outside, there won't be many people, I promise. Maybe we could also get something to eat… we'll see. I just want to show you around a bit."

"Okay" she said with a quick glance behind her.

And with that, Katsumi set foot into the village that was Konohagakure.

_Alright_. Not many people, huh? _Screw that!_ Everywhere they went there were tons of people! They all seemed to have decided to go outside tonight. _Awesome… And here she was, not being a people-person… Thanks, Kakashi!_

She was walking slowly beside him, even a bit behind, unsuccessfully trying to hide behind him whenever someone looked her way. It was useless.

"Kakashi?" she then asked quietly as they entered a less busy side street.

"Hmm?" he replied lazily, while walking casually next to her, with his hands in his pockets.

"Am I even allowed to be in Konoha?" She had heard that no stranger could gain access to the village without permission. So she was wondering why she hadn't been kicked out yet…

He turned his head to her. "Of course you are."

"But… I'm not from here. I could be a spy or a villain, you know?"

He smiled at that. "Yeah, but you're not."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked, looking up at him curiously.

"I'm not. But I'd say my people skills are rather good, though." His eye creased into a smile.

"Your… people skills. I see…" she muttered. "So you've seen through me already?"

Kakashi looked more serious at that. "Well, I still don't know anything about you, now do I? It's not as if you share everything with me so easily. Not that I would expect you to. You are a lonesome wanderer after all, aren't you?"

"Yeah…" she whispered, while playing with her much too long sleeves. _Lonesome, huh?_ "And you still seem to trust me…"

"Do you mean I _shouldn't_ trust you?"

She looked up at that, blinking. "That's not what…"

"Don't worry, Katsumi" he then said with a smile. "You are welcome here. It's not as if I'm housing an illegal immigrant."

"Well, you never know…" she muttered. "I mean, not that I am… but… oh, never mind…"

She heard him chuckle and sighed. So, if she was welcome in Konoha, who besides Kakashi knew that she was here? She was about to ask him that, when they reached another crossroads, leading them onto a much more popular street. Katsumi froze immediately at the sight of the masses of people.

"Where… where exactly are we going, anyways?" she asked quietly, trying to stay close to him while they proceeded along the street.

"I just wanted to show you a few shops and restaurants" he replied, before turning left towards a small shop labeled "Ichiraku Ramen". _Ramen? Seriously?_

Yet before they could even come close, a small blonde boy in an orange jumpsuit approached them. Katsumi automatically hid a bit behind Kakashi.

"Hey, hey, Kakashi-sensei!" the boy yelled hyperactively.

"Oi, Naruto. I should have guessed to see you here…" he muttered to the small blond boy beaming up at him. Katsumi turned her attention from the boy to Kakashi curiously. _Sensei, huh?_

"Hey, hey, is this your girlfriend?" the boy suddenly blurted out, causing Katsumi to choke on her breath for a second. She felt several gazes on her. _Try not to blush!_ Failed miserably…

When Kakashi didn't respond in any way (other than looking totally expressionless), she cleared her throat, took a step around Kakashi and smiled down at the boy. "I'm not, I'm just a visitor. My name's…"_ Snap, don't tell him your real name! You never know who's listening_! "…Yuki." Now she had Kakashi's attention.

She ignored his raised eyebrows.

"A visitor? Where're you from, then?" The boy screwed up his eyes and stared at her.

"A faraway place" she replied. "You probably don't know it anyway."

"Hmmpf."

"Hey, Naruto, don't forget about your ramen!" Kakashi suddenly, yet in that lazy tone of his, interrupted the interrogation. _Thank goodness_. The boy immediately turned around, ran into the shop and ignored them altogether. "Come on, _Yuki_" Kakashi then said to her, stressing the name by raising his eyebrows a bit more. "There are more places to look at."

Katsumi followed him along the road, not saying anything. Her mind was racing.

Once they were a bit away from the ramen-shop, he inclined his head to her and whispered: "_Yuki_? What's that all about?"

_Damn!_ She had feared for this question to come. "Well, um, you know, I'm… I'm a wanderer, I have many names…" What was she supposed to tell him?

Kakashi looked at her doubtfully.

"Well, alright, I don't want everyone to know my _real_ name, okay?" she then replied, staring down at the pavement. _Please don't ask any more questions…_

She heard him chuckle. "I consider myself lucky, then, huh?"

Katsumi looked up quickly, something red creeping into her cheeks at once. "Well, I figured since you were so kind to let me stay at your place, allowing me to invade your personal space, I could give you my real name…"

His eye creased into a smile. "Thank you for the trust."

She swallowed at that. _Why was he so freaking nice, damn it?_ He was making everything so much more complicated… A sigh escaped her lips. "You're welcome" she then muttered, finding it hard to look at him directly, so she fixated her gaze onto his masked chin.

She stared at it a tad too long, to be honest. Especially with her still walking beside him. Suddenly, there was something in her way. Her head snapped back towards the street, her feet hobbled over the pavement and in the next second, she had lost her balance, stumbling forwards, her face very close to the ground. Yet she never reached it. There were two hands holding her waist.

Katsumi inhaled sharply, as she was lifted up and set onto her feet again. The hands stayed a moment longer, before they were withdrawn. She swallowed. Then she looked up.

"You sure are clumsy" Kakashi said with a happy-eye-crease-smile.

She gathered all her might to fight the blush creeping up. _This was so annoying!_ "That's because I have a _freaking sprained ankle_!" Her voice was a tad too sharp. She cleared her throat. "I mean… thanks…" she then muttered, while staring at her feet. _Wow, from angry to embarrassed in less than a second. This new range of emotions sure was awesome! …Not!_

"Hey" she then heard him say rather cheerfully – and changing-the-topic-ly. "How about I get us something to eat and then we'll return to my apartment? I guess it's enough fresh air for one evening, right?"

She looked up at him… and smiled. "Yes, that's sounds nice."

He nodded. "Alright, will you wait here? Or do you want to come with me?"

"I'll… I'll wait outside" she replied quietly as she noticed the restaurant he had picked to get some take-out. It sure looked crowded and very popular.

"Alright then. I'll be right back." With that he disappeared into the shop.

Katsumi sighed and looked around the street warily. The sun was already setting; the streets were tinted yellow-ish-red from various streetlamps and shop signs. A few groups of people were gathered in front of the different shops and stands. Voices echoed loudly through the evening, laughter, arguments, conversations. No one was looking at her.

Maybe she didn't need to worry that much about being noticed (or worse: recognized). Nobody seemed to care about a new face. Katsumi sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest, as a cold breeze swirled around her bare legs. Even though the sweater reached almost down to her knees… _Maybe some pants would have been the better clothing choice… _She decided to walk a bit, standing sure was easier on her foot, but walking would keep her warm.

She only walked a few feet, before she could hear loud voices coming from a small side road she had just passed. Trying to ignore the noises altogether, Katsumi went on… until someone, obviously drunk, called out to her.

"Hey, redhead! What's with the muumuu?"

She stiffened slightly, clutching the sleeves of the sweater so hard her knuckles turned white. _Do not turn around! Just walk on! They'll lose interest in you and move on. Just… relax! _Her heart began racing the moment she heard footsteps behind her. Her own pace quickened – even though her foot was hurting more the faster she went. She tried to ignore it. Suddenly there was a swooshing sound beside her. She turned her head towards the noise – and noticed another side street she had just passed. Along with a group of tall men gathered in the middle of it.

Katsumi couldn't help but gasp, as she once again quickened her pace. It was then that her ankle had enough. The pain rushed through her like lightening. She lost her balance, stumbled sideways and almost tripped – if it wasn't for the body that was suddenly in her way. Turning her head, trying to regain her balance, she saw a dark-haired man grinning at her. His eyes looked her up and down.

"Hey, what's the rush, redhead?"

She stared hard at the guy, before stepping away cautiously. But just as she turned around to leave, she noticed another guy blocking her path. Her heart leapt into a faster pace. _No…_

In the same moment, that she felt a hand on her back, she felt something else surround her. It felt hot, burning even. She had no idea what it was, but it seemed to radiate from her own skin. She gasped. _What was that?_ Before she could figure it out though, someone pushed her into the narrow side street.

She wanted to shriek in surprise and shock, but there was a hand covering her mouth. Her heart seemed to explode, her lungs aching for breath. The heat surrounding her grew stronger. Suddenly there was a yelp – yet it didn't come from her. The man, who had held her, was shaking his hand as if it had been burned. He stared at her with wide, angry eyes.

"What's up with _her_?"

"I have no idea!"

"Is that…"

Another man broke form the group that had decided to surround and stare at her motionlessly. He was tall and slightly more muscular than the others. Katsumi swallowed hard as he approached her with curious eyes.

"You're something special, huh?"

"No, I'm not" she whispered, trying to back away, until she bumped into a wall. _Damn it!_

"Oh, she can talk. But I think you _are_ special, sweets. It's almost as if you're glowing…"

She was panting slightly as he watched her way too closely. Her skin was tingling. It was way too hot… way too…

Then he grabbed her shoulders, pushed her against the wall and pressed his grinning mouth onto her lips. The stench of alcohol was overwhelming. She wanted to gasp, to protest, to kick him, but he held her too firmly, and the shock was too intense, she couldn't move. She could only stare. It lasted only a few seconds until the guy backed away with a groan, rubbing his face as if she had slapped him.

Katsumi blinked with her mouth open.

"Damn it, what are you doing?" the guy yelled at her, now rubbing his hands.

_She wasn't doing anything…_ The heat was still hanging around her like an invisible net. Her skin was burning, yet it didn't hurt. It just felt weird. The men were all staring at her now, angry, curious, a bit cross-eyed, yet still anxious and restless. Like a group of hungry wolves. She swallowed, her palms pressed against the cold stone wall behind her.

"Let me try" another voice suddenly interrupted the silence.

Some guy on the left was approaching her now, with the others still watching. Seriously, what were they up to? _Oh she had ideas… but… speaking them out seemed too… no. _Her heart was still racing inside her chest.

"Maybe she needs to relax first…"

"Please don't…" she whispered helplessly. She felt like a prey, cornered by too many predators.

"Oh, don't whimper, redhead. I won't hurt you…" His voice was soft, yet laden with drunken arrogance. He was taller than the last guy. She hoped she could see more than just their shadows, but the side street wasn't sporting any lights. The only light from the main road seemed too far away…

Another second passed… ticking away way too slowly, with her heart jumping against her chest, her knees growing weaker by the moment, her breath escaping her in hurried puffs. Suddenly his hands were all over her. She gasped, unable to put more strength into her voice. She could feel his touch on her bare legs, running up under the hem of the sweater – that suddenly was way too short to be worn like this. Another whimper escaped her. His hands were reaching her shorts, a thumb already under her waistband. _Oh no…_

As she realized what was about to happen, she felt the need to raise her knee and kick him, yet it was then that he pressed his body against her, pushing her into the wall, making it impossible for her to move at all. She squirmed under the pressure, arching her neck to get away from him, as he looked up, ready to press his mouth onto hers. His hand was running along the inside of her thigh now. The touch was way too… way too…

Her skin was tingling, stronger than ever before. It felt as if something was boiling beneath it. The heat radiating from her was immense, even for her. Sweat was running down her temple. Her heart was drumming inside her chest. Her lungs were screaming for air, as if she was underwater and unable to breathe. The hand on her thigh moved slightly higher and…

Katsumi closed her eyes.

Then, everything went past in a blur.

Someone yelped in pain, voices grew louder, angry, drunken, raging. Footsteps came closer, she felt herself sliding down to the pavement, exhausted. A new voice cut through the noises. Someone flew just beside her into the wall. Dust and debris crumbled to the ground. More sounds of bodies being hit were heard. She felt utterly tired. Her arms were hanging loosely by her side, her hands lying palms-up on the dirty ground, her legs in a weird position beneath her body, her sprained ankle hurt. The voices and noises grew fainter. The heat, which was still radiating from her skin, boiled angrily around her.

Darkness fell.

* * *

_She was standing in the middle of the large market place again. In front of her loomed the huge black pile. Of bodies… of her dead parents… of the dead people of her village… everyone was dead… everyone was burning… the buildings were on fire… the village was burning to the ground… everyone was dead…_

_She was standing, with her little hands shaking badly, in the middle of it. She had no idea how long she stood there. She couldn't move. She could only scream. And she screamed until her lungs were tired… and even then she was still shrieking, full of shock, panic, fear, despair… She felt so small and so alone and so shaken, she was barely noticing anything around her. Not the dying flames, not the dead eyes fixed on her, not the approaching group of uniformed ninjas coming her way. There were voices. She could barely hear them amidst her own shrieks. _

_Then there was a hand. Slowly approaching, carefully, cautiously. Someone was talking to her soothingly. _

_She stopped screaming. Her tear-soaked gaze fell on a mismatched pair of eyes. The gloved hand was still held in front of her, asking her to take it. She couldn't move. She couldn't even blink. The man kneeling in front of was watching her closely. There was the mask of a dog pushed onto the side of his head. Yet she still couldn't see his face. His hand moved slightly forwards._

_She shrieked again. "No, please don't scream" a voice close by whispered. "I'm here to protect you."_

_Suddenly her feet were moving. She was running away from the man, running and running, until her little feet gave way and she stumbled. She fell to the ground, landed on her hands, scraping them on some rough stones. They hurt, her feet hurt, and her lungs hurt. Everything hurt. She cried. She could still feel the heat of the flames on her skin, even though she was running into the nearby forest, away from the burnt-down village. She ran and ran, the heat radiating from her, following her like a shadow. Suddenly there were hands holding her back. She kicked and kicked, screaming, then someone yelped in pain and let her go. _

_She ran on. Until darkness swallowed her.

* * *

_

"Katsumi!"

A voice crept closer.

"Katsumi…"

It was so close, right by her ear. There was someone kneeling in front of her, she could feel their body warmth. Her eyes flew open in an instant, as she remembered the touch and the drunken men and… _her memory_… A tear ran down her cheek as she looked up in terror. She gasped as she recognized the face in front of her.

More tears escaped her eyes. She felt so exhausted… so tired… so weak… She couldn't help but move forwards in one last conscious movement and hug her arms around the person in front of her. As she was leaning against his chest, with tears wetting his shirt, everything drained from her. She sunk into herself… being held by two strong arms.

"It's alright now" she heard him say quietly. "Don't cry. I'm here…"

His voice was fading. She closed her eyes in utter exhaustion. Her skin felt cold again.

"I'm here to protect you…"

The words were lost inside her mind as she fell into unconsciousness, where old and new memories blended together, where terror and fear were overrun by the feeling of safety and warmth…

* * *

_**A/N:**__ And here was chapter 3. _

_A bit of Kakashi/Katsumi-connecting, a little talk, some more memories (or extension of THE memory with a special guest), a "little" incident that triggered something that will be explained later… oh and "safety and warmth", yeah. Very important. Might be the beginning of something… you never know. ALSO a cameo of annoying!Naruto. Come on, he WAS annoying when he was younger...  
_

_Oh well._

_Enough of that._

_._

_**Disclaimer-stuff:**__ All of Naruto-universe (including Konohagakure, Kakashi, Naruto himself and Ichiraku Ramen) belong to Kishimoto Masashi. Katsumi, however, is a figment of my own imagination. There was a reference to one of my all-time-favorite TV-shows also (something about a "muumuu"). Who recognized that, gets a million gold stars!_

_._

_**Next**__: Feverish flashbacks. Katsumi has some sort of breakdown (and does not have the right to say anything else for now). Kakashi finally reveals what he is really up to!  
Beware of Point-of-view-change. It's Kakashi's turn. But I don't need to explain that, you'll see in the next chapter. _

_**Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think thus far!  
**_


	5. Chapter 4: Flashbacks

**Of Things You Can't Control**

**(even though your name has "control" in it)

* * *

**

**Chapter 4: Flashbacks

* * *

**

She was lying on the couch, motionless. He watched her from the desk in his bedroom. She had been sleeping for three days now. Something was wrong, he could tell.

Sighing, Kakashi lowered the pen he'd been writing his reports with and closed his eye for a moment. _Maybe it had been wrong to bring her here_… But he couldn't have left her in the forest, all by herself. He had made that mistake once… He should have been glad to even out the past by meeting her yet again – even though it took him seven years.

Considering her past, it was miraculous what became of Torishimari Katsumi. Bearing witness to the destruction of one's own village… seeing everyone she knew lying dead in the middle of the square… dead eyes staring at her… buildings she had once walked into collapsing to the ground… numerous fires burning down everything there was… It must have been more than traumatic. He had no idea what was going on inside her mind, yet on the outside, Katsumi seemed to cope rather wonderfully with those memories. Maybe she had suppressed it (he knew he would have), burying everything in a very dark corner somewhere in her mind, where it lay, boiling, waiting to burst free…

Kakashi opened his eye and turned his head towards her sleeping form again. _She looked so peaceful… _Three days ago, when he had found her surrounded by those drunken idiots, she had looked horrified. It had reminded him of a night seven years ago…

* * *

_The news of the destruction of the Torishimari/Arashi-clan was still fresh when the ANBU had arrived at the scene. Their primary mission had been to _confirm_ the annihilation of the village. To make sure that their secrets would be concealed – either by verifying there was no one left alive or by bringing home those who had survived the massacre – even though the latter seemed unlikely considering their information. _

_Long before that day, where it had all ended, there had been rumors. Both clans, Torishimari and Arashi, who had lived together peacefully in their own village somewhere between the Fire and the Water country, each had a different bloodline limit, a Kekkei Genkai that was both considered dangerous and unique enough to be wanted by other clans and individuals._

_While the _Arashi-clan_, whose affinities were both water and lightning, could control the weather/clouds by mixing those affinities to create a new element, thus creating storms, etc., the _Torishimari-clan_, with fire and water being their elements, used the oppositeness of their affinities to create a chakra-force-field with their own bodies (being able to let heat radiate from their own skins by making the water inside boil – yet this would only affect other people, not the ones casting the jutsu). _

_Their secrets were considered S-rank classified. Even though considered very powerful, no one really knew how those Kekkei Genkai really worked. Still, everyone wanted to have a piece of the cake, knowing that those two Kekkei Genkai could have been very useful in a fight against the countries._

_The Torishimari/Arashi clan, however, never wanted to use their powers to rule others, they just wanted to live together peacefully – using their secrets gifts only to live a wealthy and protected life._

_But living a wealthy, peaceful life would always get others jealous. When the rumors started of who would annihilate the clans, the misery began. _

_There were those, who feared that the two clans would someday use their bloodline limits to gain more power. They were likely to consider a full extermination of the entire village, leaving absolutely no trace of life behind. _

_Then there were those, who were seeking to have the same powers. Kekkei Genkai could not be copied, they only worked by transplanting the responsible organs. Yet no one knew which organs were carrying the bloodline limit, so they would consider a kidnapping and an autopsy/examination of the strongest clan members in order to gain the knowledge of their secrets._

_Whoever would succeed in their plan to rid the world of those bloodline limits, would ultimately destroy the village. There was no doubt about that. However, only those watching the Torishimari/Arashi-clan were aware of that._

_When the decision was being made, the village of the two clans had no idea what was coming for them. It had been a gruesome massacre. Mindless killings. Only for the sake of power and then withholding of that power._

_In the end, the entire village had been burnt to the ground. Every single citizen had been killed. There had been no survivors. Those, who had feared the power of the two clans to spread, had won. The secrets of the Torishimari/Arashi-clan died with them. Every corpse had been burnt – in order to bury the secret of their Kekkei Genkai with them. _

_It had been the most horrible sight Kakashi had ever seen – and he had seen a lot, even considering him only being 19 years old on the day the ANBU were sent to the destroyed village. They had been too late. The rumors were there, yet the annihilation itself had been too quick to have been stopped. They had arrived when the flames had already died…_

_Their mission had been to see if there were any survivors. In that case, the Hokage wanted them to bring them to Konoha – in order to protect them from others. Even though there had been other rumors that Konoha just wanted the Kekkei Genkai for themselves … but evil-tongues could be found anywhere and were likely to be ignored. _

_Due to their information, it had been unlikely to find any survivors – yet when Kakashi's ANBU squad had arrived at the scene, they had been more than surprised to find a little girl in the middle of the destruction. Her red hair had been glowing in the light of the dying flames. It had been Kakashi, who had approached her first._

He could still remember her screams…

_She must have been eight or nine at that time, a tiny girl, with huge green eyes that had reflected the fires around. She had been frightened, horrified, terrified. He had approached her carefully, one gloved hand stretched towards her, closely watching her until she had somehow stopped screaming. She had stared at him instead. He had been able to see the horrors she must have experienced. Such a small child… bearing witness to such a massacre._

_He had moved slightly closer – causing her to shriek in panic. He had tried to comfort her ("No, please don't scream… I'm here to protect you."), but she had backed away, wide eyes staring up at him, before she had turned around, running clumsily into the nearby forest._

_His first reaction had been to let her run. She must have been frightened enough, it would have been a mistake to take her away against her will – especially by strange, heavy armed, uniformed men. She wouldn't have understood what they had wanted from her._

_His second and last reaction, however, had been to follow her. She had been rather quick, but he had reached her before she could have gotten to the forest. He hadn't hesitated to grab her, knowing deep within that he had been sent to help and protect her, the sole survivor, not to harm or frighten her._

_That had been the first time he had witnessed the Kekkei Genkai of the Torishimari-clan. _

_Of course he had heard of it, but he had never experienced it. As soon as his arms had closed around the girl's tiny body, he had felt a sudden heat radiating from her. It had been painful and uncomfortable, yet he had tried to ignore the sensation, as he had attempted to calm the kicking girl in his grasp. But the heat had turned into an unbearable thing. It had been hot, burning, blazing, knocking the breath out of his lungs, singeing the hair on his arms. He had fought the feeling until the stench of burned fabric and flesh had hit his nose. The pain had been overwhelming. _

_He had let her go, pushed back by the force-field that surrounded her like an invisible cloak. It was only due to his Sharingan that he had seen the flaming red aura radiating from her skin. He had watched her disappear into the forest, knowing that whatever came her way would have had no chance to stop her. Slumping to the ground, he had taken a closer look at his arms. She had burned him through his gloves. The fabric had been almost gone except for the metal pieces still clinging to it, while his skin had been deep red, sporting heavy burns._

_It had taken him several weeks to fully recover from that experience.

* * *

_

Looking at his hands, Kakashi could still see one spot on his right forearm, near the wrist, where the skin hadn't been able to heal completely. The spot was slightly darker than the rest of his arm. He sighed and looked up again, turning his head towards the sleeping form of the sole survivor of the Torishimari/Arashi-massacre that had robbed the world of two more clans in just one night around seven years ago. But what was one little scar compared to the horror of losing everything? Losing not only her parents, but everyone else as well, losing her home, her village, her refuge, absolutely everything?

_That day, when his ANBU squad had returned home, the information about one surviving member of the Torishimari-clan had become one of the most classified secrets of shinobi history. If word were to come out that there was one person left with the Kekkei Genkai of the Torishimari-clan, a manhunt of unspeakable measure would break loose. The Hokage had declared for that information to stay sealed. Everyone involved had to never speak of it again. For the rest of the shinobi world, the village of the Torishimari/Arashi-clan had been completely destroyed, leaving nothing behind but ash. There had been no survivors. Period._

It had been some kind of miracle that it had been he of all people, who had found Katsumi seven years later. He had recognized her right away, even though he had only met her in her unconscious form without her green eyes staring at him. Yet somehow he had known that she had been the girl from the destroyed village. She had changed quite a bit, she wasn't small anymore (or at least not little anymore, she was still far away from being what one would call tall). She had turned into a fine young woman, her hair had grown longer over the years, her features lean and proportionally fitting (he kind of slapped himself mentally for thinking about her form like that…). Despite everything that had happened to her, she seemed to have been grown up just fine.

_It had been an easy choice as to what he would have to do after he had found her lying unconscious in the forest. (The Bandits she seemed to have provoked had turned around immediately at the sight of him.) As he had been coming home from a mission anyway, it had been obvious that he would take her with him. Yet he would only go to the Hokage, after he had brought her to the safety of his apartment, because he had unconsciously known that she would not be seen as a guest, but more like a test object – even though the Hokage had issued to protect any survivor of said massacre, it had been clear that the Elders would have found it useful to examine her for the sake of the village._

_Three weeks ago, he had stepped before them. He could still see the frowns of the old people's faces._

"_So she is in Konoha? Where exactly?" one of the Elders had asked._

"_A safe place" he had replied. He had not been willing to tell them where exactly._

"_Kakashi, where is that girl?" _

"_She is safe, that is the most important thing."_

"_Are you sure it's her?" the Hokage had asked over his interlaced fingers._

"_Yes, I am sure it's Torishimari Katsumi."_

_The Elders had stared at him in skepticism. The Hokage had been calm._

"_Kakashi" he had asked him in that composed voice of his. "Why aren't you telling us where she is?"_

_He had looked into the Third's eyes and had said: "Because I don't want her to feel like a test object or a classified case. She is a human being. It is a miracle that, after what she had witnessed, she still grew up to be a normal person. She has the right to continue her life like this. No one will ever know that she is the last member of the Torishimari-clan. Unless she stays safe and is not treated as if her Kekkei Genkai is still an issue of importance."_

"_But it is still an issue of importance!" one of the Elders had exclaimed. "We need to make sure she is safe and under our surveillance. The threat her existence is bringing upon Konoha is…"_

"_She is not a threat!" Kakashi had interrupted the older woman. "With all due respect, I don't believe there is any threat to anyone involved. If we don't make this a big issue, no one will…"_

"_For the last time, this IS a big issue, Hatake-san" another one of the Elders had addressed him in a strict tone. "If her secret is revealed, do you even know what that'll mean for Konoha, let alone our world?"_

_He had sighed, visibly annoying the Elders by doing so. "Her secret won't be revealed." He had waited for a response, then continued: "She will be safe. I will make sure of that!"_

If he had known that three weeks later he had to face the Hokage yet against regarding that issue, he hadn't been that confident to begin with. Because he had failed. Sort of.

"_What exactly happened?" the elder man had asked._

_Sighing, Kakashi had told him about the group of drunken men that had cornered Katsumi, leading to her using her Kekkei Genkai to fight them off. He had also stressed that he had taken her back to his place (because by now the Hokage already knew where he was hiding her, damn ANBU squads…) and that the men might not remember the incident anyway due to acute drunkenness and several hits to the heads._

"_You realize that the Elders will not be pleased to hear this" the Hokage had replied with a tired shake of his head._

"_I am aware of that" he had said – thinking: "They do not necessarily have to hear about it anyway…"_

"_Why have you been outside with her anyways?"_

"_Hokage-sama, with all due respect, I believe locking her up in my apartment sure is not what I had in mind when I said to treat her like a normal person. She does need a bit of fresh air, don't you think?"_

"_Of course. How is her ankle?"_

"_Healing just fine."_

"_And the fever she's developed?"_

"_I'll keep my eyes on that. But I believe it will be soon gone again. She is strong."_

"_You don't plan on taking her to the medics?"_

"_Not yet."_

"_You still don't trust our intentions, am I right?" And with that the Hokage had hit the mark._

_Kakashi had bowed his head a bit. "I am sorry to say that, but… yes."_

"_Kakashi…"_

"_Hokage-sama, believe me, I do trust your opinion. I'm just afraid, the Elders might differ from it."_

"_You are quite fond of the girl, am I right?" There had been a smile on the lined faced of the elder man._

_Kakashi had kept his cool. "I just don't want her to end up as a guinea-pig. That is all."_

"_I see" the Third had then said. "Alright. Your mission will continue like this: keep a close eye on her, let her stay out of harm's way and… if you still have time after doing that and teaching your Genin team, you might as well help her control her abilities. I hereby give you permission to do that – as long as you do it in private. If there is only one person witnessing her power, we are all in trouble. Do you understand?"_

_Kakashi had nodded and bowed. "Yes, Hokage-sama."_

_He had then been dismissed, returning to his apartment to find Katsumi still motionless on his couch.

* * *

_

It's been three days now. She had slept nonstop. The fever began so slightly worry him. Maybe he should take her to the medics after all… but that would mean he had to explain why she had such a high temperature. This wasn't a normal fever, he was well aware of that. He was almost certain that it had to do with her Kekkei Genkai. Maybe she hadn't used her inborn force-field in a while – or ever since that night her village had been burnt to the ground. Maybe she had suppressed the ability until now, which put a huge strain on her body, resulting in lack of chakra and stamina.

A fever was usually a sign of the body healing itself. He had no idea whether or not it was part of the bloodline limit for her to be able to regenerate herself. Maybe she _wasn't_ able to do that. He just had to wait and see.

When she finally left unconsciousness, she woke up with a muffled cough. Kakashi got up from his desk and walked slowly into the living room. Her eyes were mere slits as she looked around the room, as if to figure out where she was. Her hair was clinging to her sweaty face; despite her high temperature she looked as pale as death. The fever seemed to get worse by the minute.

"How are you feeling?" he then addressed her as her eyes flickered over him for a moment.

Her voice was nothing but a choked whisper. "Dizzy…"

Kakashi sat down on the coffee table and watched her closely. She coughed again, it sounded terrible. He inhaled deeply, before reaching beside him towards the glass of water he had prepared. He then stood up and sat down on the edge of the couch, while she was watching him out of tired, glassy eyes. He held the water in front of her. "Drink. You need lots of water."

She tried to sit up, screwing up her face in pain. He held the glass closer. She managed to lift her head a bit to place her lips on the rim of the glass. She drank hectically, as if she was nearly dehydrated, with water running down from the corners of her mouth. Kakashi lowered the now empty glass and raised a hand to wipe the water off her chin. She blinked at his touch, her eyes trying to focus on him.

"What… what happened to me?" she then asked with a very hoarse voice.

He put the glass back on the table, and tilted his head towards her. "You're having a fever. You've been sleeping for three days."

"Three… days?" She looked even more pained, hearing this information. "But… why…"

"You can't remember?" he asked gently, while placing one hand on her forehead. It felt blazing hot!

She inhaled sharply, closing her eyes for a moment. "Not… exactly… I just…" She broke off, coughing slightly. "I just remember that it was something… something… _bad_…" She said the last word barely audible, her eyes shifting to the side, seemingly blinking away tears.

Kakashi leaned back a bit and watched her. She remembered, yet she chose to push it away once again. He could only imagine what was going on inside her mind. Maybe it was for the better to ignore what had happened. She had had enough trouble in her past. For now, it was most important for her to get better soon.

"Don't worry about that now" he said, while reaching out to close his fingers around her hand. "You need to rest and get better. That is all that matters now."

Her green eyes looked up at him, almost deliriously. The corners of her mouth twisted up only slightly. _That was a good sign_. Kakashi smiled back at her and squeezed her hand gently.

"Do you need another glass of water?"

She nodded tiredly. "Please…"

"Coming right up" he said, stood up and left for the kitchen.

When he returned to her with the glass filled up again, sitting down on the edge of the couch once more, she had her eyes closed, breathing deeply. He watched her for a minute, before deciding to put the glass on the table.

Just as he was about to get up again, she said, very quietly: "I'm a really rude guest, aren't I? Now I'm not even hogging your couch, I'm also lying around useless… making you look after me… I really don't want to be a burden…"

"You're not a burden" he whispered back, watching her exhale deeply. "I don't mind looking after you." _No, he really didn't. That was for sure. He surely had had worst missions to take care of._

"But…" She broke up, when he put his hand on her cheek, gently caressing her chin with his thumb.

"No _but_, please just accept that I'm here to help you, okay?"

Her lips parted slightly, before a whispered "Okay" escaped them. Kakashi watched her for a moment, until she lazily opened one eye. "Thank you" she then said, unconsciously leaning against his hand. He smiled, before deciding to show her yet another gesture of comfort by leaning over her, placing his masked lips on her forehead. "Don't ever mention it again" he replied softly. He could feel her body stiffening slightly, so he pulled away and got up from the couch.

Her eyes were looking up at him in surprise, with her mouth slightly open. He hoped she wouldn't read too much into it. Reminding himself that her being here was just temporary until she would either leave (and be assigned a different shinobi to look after her, in hiding probably) or until the Elders had decided what to do with her, he nodded slightly and turned away towards his bedroom.

"I'll be in my room, doing some paperwork. Call me if you need anything, okay?" he said without looking back.

"Okay" he heard her reply in a soft voice.

_A mission._ Yes, this was only a mission. _Don't get too involved… _That was surely easier said than done, but he wasn't the type who wouldn't try his best.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Chapter Four. Check._

_So, loooooads of flashbacks and background information. Was it too confusing? Ask away then, I'll try to fight every confusion-monster there is!_

_Or I'll sum it up._

_Kakashi's reason for letting Katsumi stay is… a mission, of course. But is he really only being nice because of that? We'll see. _

_Also, Katsumi's past. Tough one, eh? There'll be more flashbacks for better understanding later._

_Also, Katsumi's Kekkei Genkai. Too much? Is it possible? Well, in Naruto-verse, everything seems possible, right? Also, we never really get an explanation of how some things work, so making something up isn't that hard. A chakra-force-field seemed plausible. Yeah. If I, the author, say so, it is. Ha. … Oh well. _

_More information to come._

_._

_**Disclaimer-stuff**__: Naruto-verse and its inhabitants are property of Kishimoto Masashi. Katsumi belongs to me. _

_._

_**Next**__: Katsumi's fever will make stuff happen. __**Stuff**__, I tell you, stuff that might raise the rating A LOT. Yeah. Expect something slightly M-rated. You'll see soon enough._

_**Thanks for reading! Please review!**_


	6. Chapter 5: Desires

**Of Things You Can't Control**

**(even though your name has "control" in it)

* * *

**

_**A/N**: Did you notice that the rating changed from T to M? Just sayin'._

* * *

**Chapter 5: Feverish Desires

* * *

**

More days passed with Katsumi lying on the couch, sweating out the fever that was still holding her tightly, and with him, doing more paperwork. He'd never done that much paperwork in such a short amount of time… It was incredible. Yet it was a good distraction. _Not that he needed a distraction _that_ bad… _Kakashi turned his head towards his open bedroom door.

Katsumi was lying with her legs pulled up a bit, snuggling into the three layers of blankets, while reading one of _his_ favorite books. He would recognize the orange book even from a greater distance. At least she felt good enough to read, that was a start. Even though he had hoped she would pick a different reading material. He wasn't possessive about his favorite books, he just wasn't so keen on the ideas that book might be putting into the girl's mind. It wasn't as if Kakashi hadn't noticed how Katsumi sometimes looked at him. Yet he had ignored it. It had to be ignored, anyway! There was no way, he…

_Oh, for crying out loud!_

He inhaled sharply. _Talking about distractions…_ Shaking his head, he turned back towards his mission reports. Another hour passed, before he decided to take a shower. _A cold one_.

…

He took his time in the bathroom (even decided a cold shower wasn't really necessary). In the middle of dressing, he suddenly heard a faint groan, followed by the calling of his name. Katsumi! She sounded desperate! Ignoring his wet hair and the fact that he was only wearing pants, he stormed out of the bathroom in concern.

Katsumi was sitting on the couch, clutching the blankets to herself as if her life depended on them. She blinked as she noticed him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, trying to ignore her constant stare as he approached her.

"I… I…" Her breath came in rapid puffs, her entire body was shaking. "Suddenly… there…" She looked awfully pale, light blue even. And she wasn't only shaking, her teeth were chattering loudly. Yet she still had the strength to stare at him openly. "You… no… no mask…"

He rolled his eye and sighed. Yes, he wasn't wearing his mask. He was also not wearing a shirt and his hair was dripping wet. But he didn't care, Katsumi seemed to be in trouble and that was his only concern, when he sat down beside her. His hand found her forehead. He frowned. It was as cold as ice.

No more fever? Or was this a side effect of it? It looked an awful lot like the shivers. She had been sweating when he had left her, why was she so cold all of a sudden?

She looked up at him, her lips already turning blue, her eyes widened frightfully. "What… what's happening to me?"

"You went cold, all of a sudden?" he asked, watching her closely. "Just like that?"

"I… I was reading… and then I had to… cough and… my head began to spin… and suddenly I felt really cold…" Her voice was shaking badly, the chattering of teeth not really helping her articulate herself properly.

He didn't need any more information. She needed warmth. And those three blankets weren't helping. Kakashi didn't hesitate at all when he leaned forwards, pulled his arms around her and pressed her against his bare chest. She stiffened slightly, yet seemed to relax rather quickly when her cheek made contact with his warm skin. They sat like that for a moment, before he decided to rearrange their seating position by lifting her up slightly, sitting down on the couch and pulling her onto his lap, still pressing her face against his chest. She rolled up against him, a light ball of red hair, cold skin, pointy bones and three layers of blankets. He waited until she had fully relaxed against him, before resting his chin on top of her head, with his arms holding her closely.

Yes, this was a rather intimate gesture.

Yes, he had only known her for three weeks, yes, she was the object of his ongoing mission, and yes, he knew _what_ he probably planted into her head by doing it, but he had just wanted to help her. He was supposed to protect her – even if it meant to hug her to his naked chest so that she wouldn't freeze to death. _Everyone had to make sacrifices, right?_ Even though this didn't feel like a sacrifice at all… A sting of selfishness rushed through him as he felt her soft breath on his skin and how her cold hands were pressed lightly against his abdomen.

_Oh, this was no good…_

He closed his eye, only to jerk open both this time, when he felt how her finger drew circles around his left nipple. _Dear God…_ The Sharingan sent a flash of energy down his spine, immediately drawing on his Chakra resources, igniting every single nerve in the process.

"Katsumi?" he asked, trying not to choke out the words. "What are you doing?"

Her finger stopped mid-motion, hovering inches over his skin. "I… I don't know" she whispered against his chest, her voice hesitant and quiet.

He inhaled deeply, the movement of his ribcage causing her finger to scrape over his skin. The feeling was intense. His Sharingan drew in every detail: the way she was sitting, rolled up, on his lap, the weight of her slender form pressed against his upper body, one of her hands still resting on his abdomen, whilst the other was still hovering over his nipple, the soft movement of her eyelashes against his skin, the way her breath sank into his pores… He could see past the three blankets, how her shoulders and chest and legs fit perfectly against him, how her feet had curled up under the blankets, resting just beside his leg, how her heart increased in speed and how her body warmth slowly returned to normal.

Everything seemed crystal clear. And yet he was confused by the way his body reacted to such a small touch. He had been the one to hug her to his chest in the first place! But who would have thought that she would respond in such a way? Or had it been that obvious, just not to him?

He loosened the grip of his arms around her slightly, one hand resting loosely on her back, while the other crept up towards her hair. He wanted to turn this warmth-bringing hug into a nonchalant thing, something everyone and their neighbor would do, with no special intentions behind it. Innocent. Pure. _Not like_… Except that he ended up _not_ patting her head in a casual way, but with his fingers entangled in her locks, his fingertips softly caressing her neck. And as if that had been necessary to give Katsumi more courage, she pressed her hand onto his chest, right above where his heart was beating slightly faster than usual. He closed his eyes.

_This was wrong…_

He was thinking about how wrong it was, how she was a teenager and he was not and how they shouldn't do anything like this … all in the blink of an eye.

_Yes, this was wrong…_

She continued caressing his chest, with her hand gently running over his skin, over the scars that had gathered on his body over the years, her fingertips scraping over skin and muscles and flesh. Just when he was about to bolt up, ready to leave the overwhelming situation, because it was just too much, he felt her lips gently closing around his left nipple.

_Oh, for crying out loud! What was wrong with this girl? Was she still somehow delirious?_

He flinched so badly, he unconsciously tightened the grip of his fingers in her hair, causing her to pull away rather quickly. "Katsumi…" His voice was nothing more than a strained whisper. He hated himself for such a reaction! Even more so as he heard her choke on her breath a bit. Her body stiffened slightly, her hands were being withdrawn from his chest. She was pulling away… maybe that was the right thing to do. She had understood that this was wrong.

_Why couldn't he?_

Instead (while blaming it all on the fact that he hadn't felt any [caring] human contact in more than six months) he hugged her with both arms, lifting her up slightly in the process, before cupping her face with both hands, looking at her, with a small smile on his lips. She stared up at him, flushed from his sudden reaction, her lips parted. They looked at each other for just a few seconds, before he decided that it really didn't matter.

He was even so confused that he completely ignored _any_ consequences. Yet he would only later realize how out of character he behaved.

* * *

Katsumi stared up at him, completely baffled. _What was he doing? _Well, what did she expect him to do after she had somehow accidently kissed his chest? _Seriously!_ She had no idea what had gotten into her. His hug had felt so nice, the suddenness of it had simply overwhelmed her. She didn't even know why it had happened in the first place… oh, wait, right, she had suddenly felt extremely cold, extreme enough for her to call him in desperation, because she hadn't known what to do. Helplessness sure was not her thing. Yet when it ended in her being pressed against a man's bare breast, well, she could get used to being helpless… somehow.

And while being held by those arms, with her cheek glued to his warm skin, something had snapped. She had remembered a passage from Icha Icha (yes, she still couldn't put that book aside – even though it became smuttier and smuttier the more she read) and suddenly, her hands had been operating on their own. She had not intended to touch him like that. But somehow, it had just happened. His reaction had confused her even more. First she was embarrassed as hell, but then… when he hadn't really stopped her… she had felt more courageous and had continued to feel him up.

The feel of his skin and the scars and the muscles moving underneath and his heart beating just beside her ear… The way she was sitting in his lap, her whole body resting on his legs and against his upper body… How he held her close, with his arms leaving no room for any more movements… and then how his fingers had begun to caress her neck, twisting around her hair just like that… Her eyes had landed on his nipple, so close to her face, so close… She had only moved a few inches and then her lips had somehow made contact. She had no idea how that had happened… No idea whatsoever.

Yet, even though he had flinched badly at that (who would blame him), she was now facing him, feeling his thumbs caress the corners of her mouth, while leaning, with her hands clutching each other in insecurity, against his chest. First she had found it more interesting to finally see his left eye being open, with the red pupil and those three black dots in it… but then she had focused on _how_ his mismatched eyes were looking at her. She couldn't really tell, but she felt as if he was staring into her soul, drawing in every single detail, something she didn't know yet glimmering inside his eyes. She swallowed hard, when he was leaning closer.

He was so close, she could feel his breath on her lips. Their noses touched slightly, before he tilted his head a bit and… She blinked when he pressed his mouth onto hers. His lips were soft and gentle (so unlike… oh no, _why_ was she remembering those horrible men _now_?) Pulling her eyebrows together, she tried to push that memory back into a dark corner of her mind, yet when he pulled back again, she couldn't help but look at him with watering eyes. His face immediately showed concern, causing the tears to spill from her eyelashes.

_Damn it…_

"What's wrong? Did I…" he asked quietly, but she broke him off by shaking her head.

"No, it's… nothing… it's not… you…" She hated herself for not being able to control her feelings better. It was still new to her to have these emotions anyway, she hadn't come around to properly controlling them yet. "I… I'm sorry…"

He tilted his head, his thumbs wiping away the tears. Instead of replying, he moved in again, placing his lips on hers gently once more. This time he closed them around her lower lip, then her upper lip… By the time he was kissing her repeatedly, she had finally managed to close her eyes, simply leaning into the movements of his mouth. As he leaned back, she kept her eyes closed, the tip of her tongue unconsciously licking over her upper lip.

"Katsumi" she then heard him say softly, his breath tingling on her skin. "Katsumi, look at me."

She opened her eyes slowly. He was watching her closely, with his dark-grey and his red eye, his gaze was intense. It was also asking her something. She could tell. She had read about that in Icha Icha. _If someone is watching you intensely, they are asking you whether or not it is okay to continue whatever they might have been doing before_. At least that's how she remembered Jiraiya-sama's words. She blinked, when his lips twisted into a smile.

It was the first time she actually saw his entire face while contorted by a smile. Not just his right eye, his entire _face_! She was really wondering why he was hiding such a face behind a stupid mask… She blinked again, when his smile widened and he actually broke into a laugh.

"You do realize that you keep staring at me as if I'm an alien or a weird piece of art on display, right?" he then said, still chuckling (while she stared at how white and even his teeth were).

She cleared her throat, looking away for only a moment, before her eyes wandered up his face again. "Well… um… no… you're not…" She felt as if she had ruined the moment.

He replied by sliding his hands down her face towards her neck, gently placing them on her collarbones, with his thumbs lightly stroking her throat. She swallowed, while still looking up at him. His smile faded the longer he watched her. When he leaned closer again, it was gone completely. He turned his head and she could feel his breath, then his lips brushing against her ear.

"Tell me to stop, Katsumi" she heard him whisper. His voice caused her goose bumps. Or maybe it was the intensity of how he said those words. Perhaps it were the words themselves… She held her breath as he began nibbling on her earlobe. _Tell him to stop? Was she even able to do so?_ _Did she want him to stop?_ She closed her eyes…

Suddenly, Kakashi was pulling away, his hands leaving her completely, as he pushed his body deeper into the back of the couch. She almost fell off his lap. "What… what's wrong?" she asked in a mere whisper, watching him bury his face in both of his hands, before he ran his fingers through his still slightly wet hair.

"This" he then replied, staring at the ceiling. "This is wrong…"

She swallowed at that. Even though she was still sitting in his lap, most of her body still in contact with his, she suddenly felt very cold. Not like before, but differently cold. It was as if it came from the inside… _oh, a new emotion? What was it then?_ She blinked as she stared at him. _Really, who was he to cause her all these emotions…_

She shifted her position slightly, making herself ready to bolt if necessary. He wasn't holding her anymore, it seemed easy to run if this got any more awkward… When he didn't say or do anything after another minute, she nodded to herself.

_Alright_. It was wrong. _If he said so_.

So, she didn't have to hang herself up on these emotions anymore. _Just get up and leave. Doesn't matter where to, just leave the couch. Leave his warm body, leave him…_

So she got up. And entangled her feet in the blankets that were still wrapped around her body. Also the couch was way too soft. And there was still the issue of her injured foot. She had to lose her balance. She had to stumble over his legs. She had to almost fall over him. She had to be caught by his hands. She had to sit down on his lap again. _She just had to_.

_Awesome_. Instead of running from him, she was now sitting with one foot on each side of his body. Settled astride his lap. And in order to keep her balance, she had even placed her hands broadly on his chest. _How the hell did that happen?_ She looked up at him in a mixture of shock, terror and surprise. He mirrored her expression. But it only lasted a second or so, before he lowered his hands and placed them on top of hers, his face calm and somewhat determined.

For a moment, she wondered how they had ended up like this. The last thing she remembered was falling into his arms after having been pushed into a side street by a group of drunken man. Then she had been lying on his couch for almost a week with him taking care of her and her high temperature. _Okay, there was some development… _but… what about the time before he had found her in that side street? They had been living together for two weeks with nothing happening at all! He had been nice and generous and she had felt grateful and… yes, there had been moments where she had looked at him a bit differently, where her heart had been trying to tell her something that she hadn't really been able to understand at that time.

Now, however, she felt as if she finally understood what was going on.

And it was her who made the first move. Leaning towards him, eyeing him closely, she placed her lips gently on his. After pecking him a few seconds, she tilted her head to one side, parted her lips slightly and closed them around his, batting down her eyelids in the process. With her hands still held by his, she could only hold the position for a moment, before leaning back, breathing a bit rougher. His eyes were on her. _Was it really wrong?_ He didn't need long to respond to her unspoken question.

Soon his hands were gripping her hair, pulling her closer. She let out a little gasp as his lips met hers, more forceful than before. Their mouths collided with a smack. Their lips encircling each other without hesitation. With her eyes closed, she could feel the tip of his tongue pushing against her lips, eventually meeting hers in a weird dance. Katsumi felt her breath being knocked out of her with every new motion of his lips and tongue. Suddenly, it felt natural to mirror his movements. As if she had never done anything else. Thinking that he was a good teacher, she moved her hands up to play with his hair, all the while leaning closer to him, her chest pressed against his, as she deepened the kiss.

_This couldn't be wrong… when it felt so right…_

Her mind was blank once he ended the kiss, yet moved his lips further over her face. Along her chin and jaw-line, towards her ear, down the side of her neck. The touch made her skin tingle pleasantly. She leaned back a little to allow him to kiss the hollow of her throat. One of his hands wandered further down to push beneath the hem of her shirt. When she felt his calloused fingers caressing her lower back, she opened her eyes, trying to figure out, what the little lump inside her throat was telling her. _Did she really want this?_

He was watching her. She felt her cheeks redden by the way he did so. Tilting his head, with his hand still running over her back, he leaned closer, until their noses touched slightly. She didn't dare to blink, afraid she might be missing something in his gaze. "Are you sure?" he then whispered, his voice barely audible against the drumming of her heart. She swallowed, feeling how his other hand was pressed lightly against her neck, the thumb running along her pulse.

The little nod she issued rather jerkily made him lean closer, with his mouth robbing her of air immediately. His arms closed tighter around her, pulling her even closer. Her hands disappeared into his hair, while she leaned into the kiss, ignoring the yearning of her lungs, only concentrating on the feel of his body pressed against hers. Moving in the rhythm of the kiss, she even unconsciously rocked her hips against his lower body. She didn't even notice what she was doing, until his hands grabbed her waist roughly, forcing her to stop. Trying to ignore the blush creeping up her neck, she leaned more into the kiss, with her tongue dancing around his.

When he finally pulled a bit away to let her catch her breath, she panted horribly, turning her head away from him in slight embarrassment. He didn't seem to mind the noises she made as he moved his lips over her face again. It was when she felt how he slid the tip of his tongue over her throat, as she gasped in surprise, stretching her neck in response a second later. When he proceeded kissing her neck and ear, she buried her face in his hair.

His embrace felt so good… she had never expected _it_ to be that good. Reading something like this in a book like Icha Icha was one thing, experiencing it on her own was something completely different. Not even Jiraiya-sama could have put in words what was going on inside her (even though he had tried rather successfully – but him being a man describing the story from a man's point of view wasn't really helpful to her). But instead of wondering why she was feeling what she was feeling, she simply leaned into it, enjoying the tingling of her skin, the beating of her heart, the warmth spreading through her entire body… gathering somewhere south.

She let out a shriek when she felt his hand wandering between legs.

Her breath picked up the pace, her heart drumming loudly inside her ears, the tingling growing almost unbearable. Yet as soon as her little shriek had escaped her lips, he withdrew his hand again. Instead he slung both his arms tightly around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him, before pressing his face against the side of her neck.

"Katsumi" she heard him breathe against her skin.

"Hmm?" came her slightly too high-pitched response.

"What are we doing?" His voice was quiet, almost like a sigh.

She opened her eyes slightly, staring into his hair. "I… I don't know…" she replied warily, biting her lip, somehow sensing that he still had his doubts about this. Hell, she even had her doubts, because she just didn't know any better. She had hoped he would be leading her through this… but…

"Maybe we should take it slowly" he then said, making her hold her breath in anticipation.

_Slowly… whatever that means._ "Oh…okay" she whispered.

And then he was letting her go, pulling back his arms, even gently pushing her away by placing his hands on her arms. It happened so fast. The next thing she knew was that she was kneeling on the couch, surrounded by a pile of blankets, with Kakashi walking away from her. She didn't turn around to face him, somehow knowing that he wasn't even looking at her. Something rushed through her veins as realization struck.

Yet she only realized that she was disappointed as the first tear ran down her cheek. Blinking in surprise, she slowly raised her hand and wiped it away, staring puzzled at her glistening finger. Why was she crying? Was she really… disappointed? What did that even mean? What had she expected to happen anyway?

A small voice in the back of her head gave the answer.

She wanted to feel him now. She wanted to touch him, feel his warmth, his embrace, his kisses, breathe in the scent of his hair and skin, run her fingers over his muscles and his scars, simply feel him against her…

Katsumi blinked again. _She… really wanted him…_ That was… unexpected and new…

What was happening to her? All these emotions… this tingling on her skin and inside her body… those sensations rushing through her veins, gathering in her body midst…

She was falling, right? _Falling for him._ Just like that, everything had changed. Exactly as it had happened in the orange book that was lying on the table. The protagonist had met a woman, the woman had become his friend, and one day, she had been more to him. _Just like that…_

Kakashi was more to her… more than the stranger he had been three weeks ago, more than the roommate, more than the man looking after her. He was more than that. What exactly he was, that was another question.

Katsumi turned around slowly, only to see him watching her from the bathroom door. He had slipped into a sweater by now, ruffling his hair as he took a step forwards. His left eye was closed again and his remaining one fixed on her. She looked back at him, trying to figure out what was going on.

Confusion washed over her as he walked towards the couch and sat down next to her. She slowly changed her position from kneeling into sitting, awkwardly taking a seat beside him, with the blankets clutched in her hands.

"Don't you think this was going too fast?" he then asked, while looking straight ahead.

Katsumi stared at his profile, unfortunately she was facing his left side and his closed eye wasn't telling her much. _Too fast…_ as she was considering his question, the new found urge grew louder again, making her gape at how his skin stretched over his jaw and how his lips… _Wow, these hormones really suck… _Clearing her throat, she then replied: "Well, maybe…"

She blushed (caught in the act of checking him out) as he turned his head towards her. He threw her a smile in response. "Katsumi, we don't even know each other that well" he said, sounding a bit educationally.

"But… but…" She looked around, hoping to find a good argument somewhere, just when her eyes fell onto the orange book. "But Jiraiya-sama wrote that you don't need to know a person as long as you care about them. That… that feelings are more important than information…"

Kakashi smiled wider. "You do realize that Icha Icha is a piece of fiction, right? Not a self-help book on love."

"Love…?" she whispered, staring at the cover of the book, feeling her cheeks redden. She blinked in confusion. _Love…_ Now she _really_ felt inexperienced. All the things she had picked up from the streets sure had been helpful, she knew quite a lot for her age (yes, even how babies were made… you hear quite the stories on the streets…), yet everyone had yet failed to explain her what love really was. She had obviously never felt it before, she had no idea. But she was clever enough to put one and one together. Or… was she?

It was then that she felt Kakashi's hand on her back. She looked around, her lips parted in surprise.

"You still have a lot to learn" he then said, pulling her towards him.

She settled beside him, leaning against his body, while his arm held her close.

"And I wouldn't advise you to do so from a book."

Katsumi looked up, with her heart beating faster yet again. "But how am I supposed to know… these… things then?" she then whispered, feeling slightly embarrassed about admitting how weak and inexperienced she really was.

His free hand reached up to be placed on her cheek. She swallowed.

"I'll be your teacher" he said quietly, watching her with a warm smile.

She blinked. She couldn't help but notice how cheesy that just sounded, yet still, she felt rather happy about the turn of events. He wasn't pulling away from her. He was letting her in. It would have been more than awkward to live together if he was planning on avoiding her. Or if her hormones decided to go really crazy… she really had to try and control her emotions (even though another little voice in her head was telling her to jump him right away… she did her best to ignore that one).

"But I don't have to call you Kakashi-sensei now, right?" she finally replied with a little grin.

He chuckled. "No, please don't."

She smiled up at him, while cuddling against him. "Thank you" she then whispered, leaning her head against his chest, closing her eyes in the process.

"Didn't I tell you…"

"…to never mention it again? Yes, you did. I'm sorry. I'll be quiet now."

"You do that" he replied, letting his thumb caress her lower arm.

It went still in his apartment. She felt how her heart relaxed and how her breathing became even again. There were a few drops of sweat on her forehead, but she didn't care.

She soon fell asleep. In his arms. _Everything seemed perfect…

* * *

_

But she didn't know that this was only the beginning. Of everything _but_ a happy-ending.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Aaaaaand chapter five. Done._

_What a tease, eh? But still some "smut" – not really, but some snogging. The real smut will come later (oho, am I saying too much? Hmm, I'm just preparing – teasing – you!)_

_So, what do you think?_

_I kinda think this scene was too much, with Kakashi being half-naked and such… even though my fangirl-heart kept telling me it was okay. I don't want to overdo it, you know?_

_Le Sigh. Alright, let's face it. I'm here to write smut. So, I said it. It's fanservice all over. It's okay. I'm grown up. I hope my readers are too or at least grown up enough to appreciate what I'm writing. _

_Anyway. There's more to come. Hopefully._

_._

_**Disclaimer-stuff**__: Kakashi in all his glory (well, the glory that's HIDDEN behind that damn mask isn't, I guess, at least we'll never know) belongs to Kishimoto Masashi. Katsumi is mine._

_._

_**Next**__: What happens after the incident-on-the-couch? You'll have to wait and see. I'm only dropping a few keywords here. Like Breathless! Hospital bed! Kidnapping! Decisions! Yeah, that's about it._

_**Thank you for reading and thank you so much for the reviews I've gotten so far!  
I'm really glad there are people out there reading and enjoying my story! Thank you, **_FallenAngelFox_** and **_GoddessHanyuu_**!**_


	7. Chapter 6: Emotions

**Of Things You Can't Control**

**(even though your name has "control" in it)** **

* * *

_(**see Author's Notes at the end!)

* * *

_

**Chapter 6: Emotions

* * *

**

Katsumi bolted into a sitting position. That movement caused several things to happen. First, there was a sharp pain that ran from her left foot all the way into her leg. Then, it seemed as if her head was about to explode, as another pain rushed through her nervous system. She panted breathlessly. Her skin felt as if it was on fire, yet there were no flames. Her lungs were yearning for air. Her heart kept thumping hard against her ribcage, it was almost painful.

She couldn't breathe.

Gasping for air, she put both hands around her throat in a failing attempt to calm herself from an uprising panic. It wouldn't do. _No air_. She choked hysterically. _No… air. Can't… breathe._ She opened her mouth wide to inhale as deeply as she could, yet no air was reaching her lungs. Stars began to flicker in front of her eyes. It was so hot. _So… hot_. She was burning. Her skin was tingling horribly. Her heart was racing so fast she half expected it to jump out of her chest at any moment.

Her eyes were watering. She felt so hot. So airless. So breathless. So close to hysteria.

She gasped again.

Suddenly there were two hands on her arms. She couldn't see. She hadn't been able to see ever since she had bolted into a sitting position. She didn't know where she was. She didn't feel anything but the hands and the pain that ran through her body along with the flames burning just beneath her skin. She choked again. The fires were blazing hot. The hands on her skin felt as if they were burning her even more. She couldn't breathe.

Someone winced in pain. It wasn't her.

Then, finally, darkness fell. The pain was gone. The burning remained.

* * *

"Katsumi!"

He was shaking her.

It had been in the middle of the night, when Kakashi had heard her scream. It had been a dry scream, almost as if she hadn't been able to breathe properly. When he had left his bedroom to check on her, he had found her sitting on the couch, gasping for air, with her hands on her throat. He had immediately tried to calm her.

Her skin was blazing, the fever had never been worse. She was sweating through the thin layers of her clothes, her hair clinging to her wet forehead. Her eyes had been wide, yet she didn't seem to see anything, not even him, as he had sat down next to her, grabbing her by the upper arms. She didn't react to his touch in any way. She was still choking, it sounded horrible and looked even worse. _What was happening to her?_

"Katsumi!" His voice sounded unnaturally shrill.

He was shaking her, mildly at first, then more aggressively. His head was spinning. Was she dreaming? Having a nightmare? Hallucinating maybe? What was wrong with her? And most importantly… how could he help her?

He stared at her agonized face. At that exact moment, there seemed to be something flashing inside her wide, glassy eyes. Like a flash of fire, the flicker of a flame. Something red. A second later he could _feel_ what was happening rather than seeing it. He felt it on his hands.

They were burning.

It was the same sensation he had felt seven years ago.

He had once again encountered her inner force-field. It felt like fire. He winced in pain and withdrew his hands immediately, his palms burning horribly, even though the sensation was worse than what the wound really looked like. He tried to ignore the throbbing and watched in shock how Katsumi gasped one last time, before she sank into herself, falling back into the cushions, completely motionless.

He breathed heavily, as he leaned back to take in the situation.

_What'd just happened?

* * *

_

He had had no other choice.

That he kept telling himself over and over again as he walked up and down the sterile corridor of the Konoha hospital. After she had collapsed on his couch (her skin cooling down rapidly after that), Kakashi had decided that there was no other way than to get professional help. Even though he had refused to bring her here before.

There had been several reasons for that.

One: No one should know of her current location. He knew that there were still people out there trying to rid the world of the last Torishimari.

Two: He didn't want to bring her into the spotlight. The people of Konoha, even though quite nice and tolerant, were still very suspicious about newcomers, especially the older generations – those who knew of the fate of her clan.

Three: Even though he had had to tell the Hokage and the Elders about Katsumi's being in Konoha, he still didn't trust their intentions entirely. He knew for a fact that the Elders were anxious to know more about her Kekkei Genkai – so with Katsumi hospitalized, it must have been easy for them to get her transported to their secret laboratories. He didn't want her to become their guinea-pig. She had had enough trouble in her young life as it were.

Yet judging by how bad her fever had gotten, Kakashi didn't have another choice but to take her to the medics. She needed help and it would have been way too selfish to hope she would get better with just him taking care of her.

He sighed deeply as he sat down on one of the chairs along the wall.

He had had no other choice…

A door was being opened. Footsteps came closer. Kakashi looked up.

"Hatake-san? Did you bring the red-haired girl in?" A medic with a clipboard approached him.

"Yes, I did. How is she?" He stood up and faced the other man.

"She's sleeping. You said she had a fever before she collapsed and couldn't breathe?"

Kakashi nodded.

"There was no sign of any air way dysfunctions. She's breathing on her own. There were however a few distortions in her chakra flow, maybe that had been the reason for her high temperature. We cleared it. She'll be fine now. We also fixed her ankle."

He exhaled deeply. Relieved.

"By the way, do you know the girl's name?" the medic asked quietly. "You didn't tell us and she doesn't have any records here."

"She's not from here. I found her outside of Konoha and brought her here. I figured she needed help. I…" He looked the other man in the eye, without blinking. "…have no idea who she is."

The medic stared back for a moment, somehow dumbfounded. Then he nodded. "Alright. We'd like to keep her a few more hours for some tests, though. I guess I have to inform the Hokage about this girl being here, right? He…"

"He already knows. She is allowed to stay until she's better" Kakashi replied calmly, still looking at the other man – who blinked.

"Of course…" The medic's voice grew quieter. He looked confused when he finally turned away and left Kakashi – who sighed and closed his left eye again.

He watched until the medic was out of sight before he turned around as well and headed straight towards the second door on the left. Katsumi's room. He opened the door quietly and slipped inside. The lights were all out but for a small lamp on the table beside the bed. The room was tiny, with only the bed, said table and a chair on the other side. At least there was a window opposite the door. He could see his reflection in the black glass. The night outside was moonless.

Kakashi walked towards the bed where Katsumi lay, motionless, pale in the dimness, breathing quietly. She looked peaceful. He sat down on the edge of the bed and placed his hand on her forehead. She felt warm beneath his fingers. Yet not hot anymore. Maybe the distortions in her chakra flow really were causing her fever. It made sense. She hadn't used her bloodline ability in a long time, her body just hadn't been used to it.

So she was fine again. What a relief.

He watched her for a moment, listening to her soft breathing. It was then that he realized that he was screwed. He cared for her. He cared too much. And he shouldn't care. Kakashi remembered the last day and what had happened on the couch. Closing his eye, he shook his head. It had been a mistake. _A huge mistake_. It had been nice, yes, a nice change, but it had still been wrong. He had no idea whether or not his words had gotten to her. _"Maybe we should take it slowly"_ he had said. Slowly… no, they shouldn't be doing something like that AT ALL.

He didn't even have an excuse for his actions. She had, however, she could blame her fever and delirium for what had happened. But him? He had been fully aware of everything. _Had he taken advantage of her and her situation? _He should have stopped her earlier. He shouldn't have kissed her, shouldn't have encouraged her, shouldn't have made the first step – wait, she had caressed his skin _first_. Well, only _after_ he had hugged her to his naked chest.

Basically they were both at fault – but him being the adult, he should have to take the blame. Not only for encouraging her like this, but also for getting so attached to her. For caring too much. Why did he care that much about her? Really, why? She wasn't so special after all. She was just a girl, very normal looking for all he cared. Also, she was a teenager, 15, maybe 16 years old – and it didn't matter that she acted much more mature than that. He sighed and closed his eye. He was screwed. Big time.

_What did this make him?_

Katsumi groaned in her sleep. Kakashi looked up.

And decided to stop it before it even started. No more thoughts about it. No more what ifs. No more regrets about what had happened. No more. She was just a girl, she was a refugee sleeping on his couch. He was the responsible guy, protecting her was his mission. A mission. Nothing else. _A mission_.

And said mission also reminded him of what the medic had said. _"We'd like to keep her a few more hours for some tests."_ Tests? Turning her into a guinea-pig after all? _No, they weren't!_

He stood up from her bed and walked towards the window. Quietly opening it, he took a look into the night. Second floor window. Only bushes and concrete below. He looked up. There was a gutter above, a drainpipe running all the way down. Alright. Kakashi turned back towards the bed. Looking at her sleeping form for another second, he listened for any noises indicating that a nurse or medic was approaching the room. Nothing. The night shift was always relatively quiet.

No one would disturb him…

…while he kidnapped Katsumi.

He pulled back the blanket, put both arms under her body and lifted her up effortlessly. Hugging her to his chest with one arm, he walked back towards the window, leapt up onto the windowsill – and jumped into the night. His free hand caught the pipe to his left. From there it was only another leap to the ground, where he landed soundlessly.

Without looking back, knowing that they would probably assume that it had been him who had kidnapped the "unknown red-haired girl with the strange chakra distortions", he returned to his apartment, Katsumi safely pressed against his upper body. Whatever they had found out about her condition, they would not dig deeper into the matter. He wouldn't allow that. He had told the Hokage that he wouldn't let them make Katsumi a guinea-pig and he would tell everyone else the same. And he didn't care on whose feet he was stepping by doing so. His mission was to protect her.

His mission… was slowly waking up, just before he had reached his apartment.

* * *

Katsumi's head felt unnaturally light. She inhaled deeply, the air flowing into her lungs with ease. She opened her eyes… to see a masked chin. It was then that she noticed that she was moving. But she wasn't moving on her own… she was… carried… by…

"Kakashi…" she whispered and tilted her head slightly.

He had her pressed against his chest, his arms tightly around her, walking down a dark side street towards a large apartment building.

She was confused. Why was he carrying her through the night? What… "What happened?" she asked, her voice sounding a bit too feeble.

"Can't you remember?" he replied softly.

"No…"

"You woke up in the middle of the night. You couldn't breathe. Your fever was getting worse. I brought you to the hospital…" She flinched. _Hospital?_ "…They fixed you up. And now I'm taking you back home." _Back… home…_ Confusion washed over her.

"Why?"

She could see how his eye creased into a smile. "Because my couch is way better than any hospital bed, believe me."

Even though she was still watching him, she noticed that they approached a large door. He was slowing down. "How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, looking down to meet her gaze.

Katsumi felt her cheeks redden. The warmth was back. "I'm… I feel fine" she replied barely audible.

"No more pain?"

She took a moment to consider his question. No. There wasn't anything. She didn't feel too cold or too hot, there was no pain anywhere. Not even… She looked down to where her feet were dangling from the air. Her feet… she was barefoot and there were no bandages anymore. Her left foot… "My foot…"

"The medics cured the sprain" Kakashi said softly. "Do you want to try it?"

She swallowed and looked up, before she nodded.

He put her down gently, his hands resting on her waist and arm until her feet met the cold concrete of the threshold. She shivered at first, then quickly recovered and moved a step forwards. On her left and formerly injured foot. It didn't hurt. A smile crept onto her lips. She walked up and down the stairs. So easily. No more hobbling. _She was… free…_

She walked towards the door and put a hand on the door handle, before it hit her. Her heart began to race. _No._ She frowned, staring down at her feet. After another second, she turned around to Kakashi, who was watching her with his hands in his pockets and an unreadable look in his eye. _Was he… thinking the same?_

"My foot is healed" she stated the obvious, staring at him, trying to control what was welling up inside of her.

"So it seems" he replied, completely expressionless.

She bit her lip. "That means…" Katsumi looked down. "You said you'd let me stay at your place until my foot was completely healed…" She broke off. Her mouth was dry. "Well, it is now… so… there's no need for me to… stay anymore, is there?" Her voice was a mere whisper. She felt cold – and that was not because she was standing in the middle of the night barefoot on cold concrete.

"Katsumi." His voice was warm and generous. She heard him move closer. Yet he wasn't close enough to touch her. "I told you that you are free to leave whenever you want. It's your decision."

She looked up slowly, her lips slightly parted.

"I know that you are still a wanderer, even though you've been here for more than three weeks. I would understand it if you wanted to run again. It's in your nature, right?"

Her eyes wandered over his face. Suddenly, he was smiling at her.

"Look, let's discuss this inside. It's cold and you are freshly cured, so we don't want you to get sick again, do we? Come on" he said and held out his hand.

She took his hand hesitantly.

He immediately pushed past her towards the door, opened it with his free hand and guided her inside the apartment building. He then turned right towards a large staircase. She couldn't quite comprehend the situation, she was merely walking behind him, left foot, right foot, walk, walk, walk, step, step, step. It seemed that she had left her ability to think on the threshold outside. _What was wrong with her?_

_Oh, she bloody well knew what was wrong with her_. 'She was free to leave.' So, was he saying that he didn't want to have her anymore? 'It was in her nature to run.' Seriously? Well, it had been for the last seven years, but now… The metaphorical fog circling them was growing thicker. It was all so vague…

Without her really noticing, they had reached his apartment. He unlocked the door and told her to step in first. She did, waiting on the other side of the door for him to follow her. Her gaze wandered up to his face. His eye met hers only for a brief moment, before he walked past her, slipped from his sandals and walked up into his apartment. She blinked.

"Kakashi!" she then blurted out, her voice a tad too shrill. Everything came together finally. Everything. The past three weeks, last night… Everything.

He turned around to her and looked back a bit puzzled.

"I… I'd really like to stay here for a little while longer" she then said, bowing slightly as she did so. Biting her lip, she waited for his response.

He was smiling. "You are welcome to do that" he replied.

"And… you don't mind?" she whispered.

"No, I don't. I like your company."

She blushed at that. A new feeling floated her insides. Something like gratefulness… appreciation… happiness… It was a nice feeling. She smiled back at him.

"Now, come on in already. You'll catch a cold – again – if you keep standing by the door" he said with a laugh and turned around again to walk towards the couch.

She inhaled deeply and followed him into the living room. She caught up with him and, before he could sit down on the couch, hugged her arms around his waist, pressing her face against his back. If he was surprised, he didn't show it.

"Thank you" she whispered against his sweater.

* * *

Her sudden embrace had surprised him. It took a lot of effort not to show any emotion.

Kakashi had expected her to go back on what they had first agreed on, with her staying here only until her foot was healed. But apparently, she didn't want to run away so quickly. She wanted to stay. And he was willing to let her. It was his mission after all, to make sure she'd stay in Konoha. _His mission…_ Yet he was glad that she decided so on her own. That she wanted to stay.

At the same time, he became aware of how attached she was to him already. She shouldn't be. Then again, why _wouldn't_ she after how nice he'd been to her? It was his fault after all – for luring her in. For encouraging her… He sighed and placed his hands on hers. "Katsumi…" She was only tightening the grip of her arms around his torso. He had to admit… it felt nice. It had been a while since there had been someone who had hugged him like this, who had been this grateful… so unselfish… He closed his eye.

_This was still wrong_. However nice it felt. This was wrong!

He gripped her hands and pulled them apart. "Katsumi, we have to talk" he then said and turned around to her.

The sight of her seemed to make his heart stop. There were tears in her eyes.

"It's wrong, isn't it?" she whispered barely audible. He almost couldn't understand her. "For me to feel like this… It's wrong that I feel so close to you after you have been so nice and caring to me, right? I shouldn't feel like that. I shouldn't feel anything. I… I was a wanderer, I had no emotions, I didn't even know what emotions really were. And now that I know of some, I… I shouldn't feel them. I'm not allowed to because it's wrong to feel like this… Is… is that what you wanted to talk about?" She was crying mercilessly now, yet at the same time she wiped at her face and seemed to be embarrassed by what she did and said. There was turmoil in her eyes.

"Katsumi…" He had no idea what he should say to her. "It's not wrong to have emotions" he then replied softly. "You should feel lucky to have them. What I wanted to talk to you about is…" He sighed and looked down for a moment, before he faced her again. "Katsumi, I am not the right one for these emotions."

She stared at him, her parted lips shaking slightly.

He frowned as he leaned closer to put her hands between his fingers. "I don't want you to get hurt, Katsumi. I… want to protect you."

A sudden memory flashed before his eyes. Seven years ago. _"I'm here to protect you…"_

Was he really protecting her by telling her that she couldn't feel for him? That it was wrong to feel? It wasn't wrong… no, that was not the reason why he was fighting this. It was because he knew for certain that he would hurt her eventually. He had a tendency of doing that… And with Katsumi, it was even worse. He hadn't been honest to her from the moment they had met. She didn't know that his caring for her was only a mission. A mission, a paid assignment, a job. He hadn't been honest… and whenever she was to find that out, she would be hurt – and it would hurt even more if he allowed her to fall for him. She shouldn't. He wasn't worthy of that.

A flash of self-pity rushed through him. He was pathetic. Emotions were horrible. There was a reason why rule #25 of the Shinobi guidelines stated that a Shinobi was not to show emotions in any situation. Showing emotions confused the mind and the heart and influenced every action and reaction. Emotions made everything worse.

He closed his eye and let go of her hands. Yet he wasn't moving.

It was Katsumi who moved – by pulling her arms around his waist once more. He blinked, when she pressed her face against his chest.

"Kakashi" she whispered. "I don't care who you think you are. And I don't care if I get hurt. I want to learn and I can only do that by making mistakes. Maybe this is a mistake, but you have to let me find that out on my own. And you don't even have to be a part of that. You just… have to tell me that you don't want to. I can't control what I'm feeling for you… but I can try to accept that you won't return these feelings. I just have to know. Then everything will be fine."

What was she expecting him to do? Was she serious? So, a no or yes from him, and she would be fine? This was basically his chance of getting out more or less unharmed. Yet…

There was one question hovering inside his head. One very blatant question. One that seemed pretty dumb and whose answer he already seemed to know. But still… he had to know. Like her. He had to know.

"What exactly are you feeling for me, Katsumi?" he asked quietly.

She stiffened slightly against him. "I… I don't know exactly what it is, but it feels as if there are bugs inside my stomach, it's warm and… I can feel their tiny wings fluttering, it feels like a stomach ache, but… pleasant… that happens whenever I'm with you. When I look at you… the bugs are swirling around violently… then my heart begins to race, it's always so loud… drumming in my ears… And my head feels so light when you smile at me… and there's no thought inside… just an overall feeling of… well, something good. And it's always so warm and… comfortable… when you touch me… I have never felt like this before…"

Her voice was soft, her words vibrating against him. He looked up guiltily, when his arms closed around her shoulders. It was already too late.

"It's butterflies" he said quietly.

"What?" she replied a bit too shrill.

He chuckled lightly. "This feeling inside your stomach, it feels like butterflies, not bugs."

"Oh" was all she made while burying her face in his sweater. He couldn't see it, but he was sure that she was blushing. He tightened his grip around her.

"I believe that you can call this feeling… love or affection" he then said. _Love_… He shook his head mentally. He never believed in something like love. It was too fickle. Too unpredictable. It was not one of those things you could easily rely on. You couldn't rely on love when your life was on the line. It made people weak and vulnerable. And he was not someone willing to be weak and vulnerable. Never. He sighed.

But whatever he thought about love, he couldn't affix his opinion to Katsumi as well. She should learn on her own how inconsistent love could be. Or maybe she was to find out that it worked for her, that it gave her strength rather than slow her down. _You'll never know…_

"Love…" he heard her whisper against his chest. She then leaned back a little and looked up at him. She was smiling. "You know, yesterday? Yesterday I was wondering what love actually is, I had no idea. Yesterday was… well, let's say I was delirious, I didn't know what I was doing. It was silly, wasn't it?" She chuckled lightly. The memory of last night flashed before his eyes. He could have slapped himself mentally for remembering how soft her lips had felt… "You said I had still a lot to learn and that you'll be my teacher… yet you taught me so much already."

She suddenly tiptoed in front of him, before she pressed her lips somewhat awkwardly on his masked chin. He loosened his grip around her, allowing her to lean higher. Her hands found his mask, one finger already hooked beneath the fabric. He watched her. _Should he stop her? _A sudden thought rushed through his mind. What if he just let her do whatever she wanted to do? What if he let her learn? He knew that if he rejected her now, she would leave, not immediately, but she would turn away from him, because she would be hurt – despite her saying she wouldn't.

So. What if he didn't object?

It wasn't wrong if he wasn't the one to do the first step, right? That was farfetched and a twisting of the truth, but still. It was working in his mind. It was working for him. And it would make her happy. So he let her decide whether it was time to let go. It wasn't as if he had anything else to do… and quite frankly, he really didn't object… He was that selfish after all.

Kakashi watched how she tiptoed against his chest, both her hands nibbling on the fabric of his mask. He twisted his eye into a smile. That was enough to encourage her to pull his mask down. Then, her hands rested on his cheeks. And despite him deciding to be the passive one, he leaned down. She looked at him, her lips parted. He could feel her rapid breath on his chin.

"Sometimes it really doesn't matter if it's right or wrong, does it?" he said softly, eyeing her closely.

She smiled, a generously happy smile. He smiled back. Her lips closed around his. She closed her eyes and kissed him deeply. He watched her.

If it wasn't for the fact that he actually enjoyed it, he would have felt like a male prostitute… But… So what if he prostituted himself for her? Somehow, he felt obliged to do this. He felt somehow responsible for how her life had turned out. If they could have stopped the Torishimari/Arashi massacre seven years ago, Katsumi's life would have been different. He couldn't change that they had had no chance to stop it, nor that he couldn't help her when he had first met her, but now, seven years later, he could at least try to make her happy.

Even if that meant to let her kiss him…

Seriously, what was his problem? She was a cute girl, and she was learning how to move her lips properly, and really, it wasn't unselfish of him to allow her to do this. It was the most selfish thing he had ever done in his life!

And so, he kissed her back.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Chapter six, done. _

_Well, what do you think? Now begins the actual romance. Katsumi doesn't have to stay at Kakashi's anymore, but she's decided to stay. And Kakashi, despite having the mission to make sure she stays in Konoha, decides to make her happy … by… well, do you find it weird of him to allow her to use him so that she learns something about emotions and happiness? I can't put my finger on it, but it does feel weird and slightly out of character… then again: maybe he is only teaching her a lesson… actually, he is, so… never mind. Oh well. _

_SO! About the ** from the title._

_The subtitle reads "even though your name has "control" in it" – finally, there's an explanation._

_**Welcome to Japanese 101. Taught by someone who has done a very basic Japanese online course and knows how to use Japanese-English-dictionaries. But still. Welcome!**_

_The name of my main character is Torishimari Katsumi._

"_**Katsumi**__" has quite a few meanings, but I stuck to this one: "__**self control**__" (it can also mean "victorious beauty" … but I ditched that meaning for obvious reasons)_

"_**Torishimari**__" means "__**control**__" (also "supervision" or "management")._

_So there's quite a bit of "control" in her name – but – to make this story somehow interesting, I decided to make her experience things she can't control – despite the meanings of her name._

_And there you go. "Of things you can't control"._

_._

_**Disclaimer-stuff:**__ Naruto-verse was created by Kishimoto Masashi, all hail him. Katsumi is mine. Anything else? Hmm. I forgot.  
Oh, _rule #25 of the Shinobi guidelines _is actually_ "A shinobi must never show tears" _– but I stretched it a little bit to make it work. Forgive me, Kishimoto-sensei!_

_._

_**Next**__: Kakashi lives up to his name (well, his title) and becomes the teacher we all love so much. Yet there'll be no more "student-calls-him-Kakashi-SENSEI-seductively"-jokes, no, that had been used way too often! _

_**Thank you dearly for reading! I'm really excited about Reviews! And Favs! And Alerts! Thank you!**_

_**A special thanks to **_GoddessHanyuu_** and**_ ChibiJinchuuriki**: **_**Kakashi-fangirls unite! Thank you for your support!**_


	8. Chapter 7: Learning and Teaching

**Of Things You Can't Control**

**(even though your name has "control" in it)

* * *

**

**Chapter 7: Of Learning and Teaching

* * *

**

Another week had passed. Katsumi was still in the middle of counting the butterflies fluttering inside her stomach. She was happy. And she had never felt this happy before. It was weird (_Weird being the word of the millennium!_). Really, it felt very unreal… Extremely unreal. Surreal even. _But that was basically the same word with only a different prefix._ Still. That was how she felt.

So she had confessed her feelings to Kakashi – that had been the most awkward moment of her life. Yet at the same time, it had been relieving and good. And as he hadn't pushed her away, she was assuming it had been the right thing to do. She even ignored the fact that he hadn't really said anything to that. It had only been his actions that had made it clear (sort of) that he wasn't entirely against what she felt. _Actually, he had been really cryptic_. But what did it matter: he was allowing her to hug him when he was standing in the kitchen and kiss him when he was leaving for a mission and snuggle against him when he was sitting on the couch…

Yes, there had been moments where she had felt like a Stalker-girl. But then again, he hadn't objected! So it wasn't wrong, right? He could have told her to stop, yet he never had. And if he didn't push her away, it was his own fault. There!

Yeah. Katsumi, being the teenager she was, had turned into the teenager she was. Hormones all inclusive! Sometimes, it was sickening, even to her.

It was Saturday evening and she was standing in the kitchen, staring down at the book in front of her. She had proven to be the "learning by doing" type of girl when it came to such things as emotions and (somehow) human relations, so she was curious if that applied to cooking as well. Well, it wasn't as easy as getting certain information from a book like Icha Icha. The cooking book she picked from the book shelf was… well, not as easy to understand. She had tried to do the same recipe twice now – and there had always been something off. She had burned the meat, overcooked the vegetables, burned the rice, drowned anything that could have been drowned, and somehow everything had ended up inedible. Twice! _No, it was not easy at all!_

But it looked so easy when Kakashi was doing it…

Katsumi sighed and slammed the book shut. She then disposed of the inedible stuff you wouldn't even be allowed to call food. It used to be food, now it was something completely different. Picking up the book, she then returned it to the bookshelf. There – with her stomach rumbling – she picked another book to read. _Something else_. Not cooking, not romance/porn novels (of which Kakashi had surprisingly quite the collection), but something that might be more useful.

To sum it up, it were books of "how to become a ninja". And she really, really wanted to become one.

She had had this train of thought for quite a while now, basically after finding out that Kakashi was teaching a bunch of kid ninjas. Before that she had had no idea of what she wanted to become. Before that she had been a wanderer whose only concerns were of what to eat and where to sleep. Now she was thinking more about her future. Because, suddenly, with the appearance of a new range of emotions, she was actually _able_ to see a future. Seven years of wandering around aimlessly hadn't been of great help. But meeting a strange, one-eyed man somehow had.

Katsumi flipped open a book entitled "The History of the Ninja" and started reading while walking blindly towards the couch. There she sat down, curled up into a more comfortable position and read. She read and read and read until she reached the last page. Then she stood up, returned the book and grabbed another one. She had been reading through three more books by the time she heard the door being unlocked. And while she was reading about water-based ninjutsu, her heart began to beat faster. Just like that. Only because of the door being opened and what that sound implied.

Kakashi was back.

He had left in the morning for a mission. Now it was around midnight. He had been gone for far too long. She lowered the book and looked towards the door. Without even realizing it, a smile crept up her lips as she watched him get rid of his shoes. He met her gaze and his eye creased into a tired smile. While walking into the living room, he loosened his hitai-ate and ran a hand through his messy hair.

"How was your mission?" Katsumi asked and sat up straighter as he sat down beside her.

Kakashi sighed deeply and placed the forehead protector on the table, before leaning back. "Troublesome."

She tilted her head and watched him. He did look exhausted and somehow annoyed. Maybe she shouldn't mention the food she had wasted on her failed attempts of cooking. _Nope, she should not mention that. _And maybe it wasn't the perfect time to ask him whether he could teach her how to become a ninja. _Nope, he didn't seem in the mood for that either_. She marked the page she had been reading and closed the book, before moving slightly closer to him. Her hands found his arm. He turned his head towards her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked carefully.

"There's nothing to talk about. My Genin were just a bunch of idiots today. They sometimes are. I guess I should get used to that sooner or later" he replied.

"Did you train them today as well?"

He laughed a dry laugh. "No, that would have been even more troublesome. There's no training for them until Monday."

"What are you teaching them at the moment?" Katsumi couldn't hide her interest any longer.

Kakashi seemed to notice and watched her closely for a moment. He smiled then, leaning towards where she had placed the book she had been reading. "Water-based ninjutsu, huh?" he read as he flipped it open. "No more smut, I see. So you're into ninjutsu now?"

"I guess I'm into wanting to become a ninja now…" she said quietly and looked down. "Is that weird?"

He made her look up by placing a hand on her cheek. She blushed immediately. "It's not weird, it's a good thing!"

"Really? …Wait, you're not saying this because you're a teacher and would encourage everyone to become a ninja, right?"

He laughed at that. "No, believe me, not everyone should become a ninja, but I somehow have a feeling that you would make a great one."

She watched him speechlessly. _Seriously? _Se_riously?_ Katsumi blinked. Her astonishment was interrupted by his voice.

"Don't look so surprised" he said with a smiling eye. He lowered his hand to place it on her collarbone with his thumb running over her skin. "I really mean it."

She stared at him and swallowed. A moment of silence (somewhat awkward) came down between them, before Kakashi cleared his throat and exhaled loudly.

"Have you eaten yet?" he smoothly changed the topic and put down the book again.

Katsumi watched him, wanting to stop him so they could dig deeper into the topic of being or becoming a ninja and maybe, _maybe_ come to the agreement that Kakashi could teach her some ninjutsu. But _no_… he had to talk about food. _Seriously_.

"No" she replied with a sigh and suddenly remembered the inedible stuff in the trash. _Oh_. "But…" _Yeah, she really shouldn't keep stuff from him. He would find out anyways…_ "I tried to cook something…" she then added very quietly, staring at her hands.

"Really?" he asked in a rather cheerful voice. "You tried, huh?"

She looked up at him. "Emphasis on "tried"…"

Kakashi laughed. "So I _did_ smell something burned, I thought so."

"I'm sorry" she whispered, avoiding his gaze. "I'm sorry I wasted your food…"

She heard him standing up from the couch. "Do you remember what you said about mistakes?" he then asked, making her look up at him. His eye smiled at her.

Katsumi remembered. ""I want to learn and I can only do that by making mistakes"", she said.

"Exactly" he replied. "So I won't stop you. You want to learn, you have to make your own experiences. Even though that might include emptying my refrigerator." He shot her one more glance before he walked into the kitchen, with Katsumi staring after him, her heart increasing in tempo – even though it was already running at full speed.

He… was… _unbelievable_…

Seriously, she very nearly sighed or squealed or made other embarrassing sounds indicating how much she adored Kakashi. _Teenage hormones_… they really were something. Instead she tried to swallow the wish to throw imaginary hearts at his back, cleared her throat and exhaled loudly, before she got up from the couch and followed him into the kitchen.

"So, can I assume that after your unfortunate cooking attempts you are still hungry?" he asked as she approached him, while rummaging through a cabinet.

It was then that she was reminded of exactly how hungry she was. She had tried to ignore the empty feeling inside her stomach and reading those books had certainly helped distract her, but now, she could very clearly hear it. The rumbling seemed to shake the entire kitchen. Katsumi turned bright red and tried to cover the strange noise by clearing her throat again, but Kakashi only chuckled.

"Thank you for the immediate reply" he said, still laughing.

"Hmm" Katsumi mumbled. She wanted to turn away from him in embarrassment, but he stopped her by placing his hand on her shoulder and pulling her closer. A bit perplexed she looked up at him. He smiled.

"You know" he said and cupped her face with one hand. "This blushing of yours is really adorable."

And she blushed even more.

Kakashi then raised his free hand to tug on his mask. The next second she stared wide-eyed at his face that drew closer and closer and then… His lips met hers. It was a rare moment of him actually kissing her. Despite her "drunkenness" (on emotions) she sure had noticed that it was mostly her who directed her affection at him, not vice versa. Of course he replied soon after, but he never started it. She really couldn't care less, but she still couldn't completely ignore that particular fact.

She leaned into the short, but caring kiss and smiled, when he had leaned back.

"So how about we find us something to eat?" he then asked and turned towards the cabinets once more. "That is… if you've left anything."

Feeling another wave of redness creeping up her face, she quickly turned towards the fridge and opened its door forcefully. The cool air evaporating from it was like ice on her hot skin. She could have sworn that there had been the faint hissing of steam. She cleared her throat and grabbed the milk carton. While Kakashi still rummaged through the cabinets, she poured herself a glass of milk and gulped it down rather hastily – in order to distract herself and to get her face to cool down again. All this blushing was really getting on her nerves. _Why was she behaving so stupidly all of a sudden?_

After she drank the entire glass of milk, she inhaled deeply. Then she had to cough. Badly. _Oh, seriously, why?_ Yet she caught herself quickly, just as Kakashi turned his gaze towards her. She looked up a bit horrified – even more so as his lips distorted into a smile. The blush was back.

Why was he looking at her like that?

The answer came when he leaned closer and gently touched her upper lip with his index finger. Her mouth fell open slightly. "You have a beard, miss" he then said with a smirk.

Her eyes widened at that – but before she could do anything about that, Kakashi had leant in even closer, placing his lips gently on her upper lip. She blinked when she felt how the tip of his tongue licked over the thin layer of milk above her lip. Closing her eyes, she held her breath in bewilderment. His kiss was short, but sweet. It left her more than breathless – and not only because she had denied her lungs any air during it. She opened her eyes slowly, to find him still leaning close to her, his eye fixed on her face. She didn't dare to move, while her heart basically leapt against her ribcage.

"Are you still hungry?" he then whispered, his low voice merely a soft rumble in her ears.

She swallowed, blinking, a pleasant shiver running down her spine.

He tilted his head. She watched him closely. Bangs of his hair were falling on his forehead, half-covering his eyebrows. His closed eye looked so peaceful, despite the scar running across it. His other eye, however, wore a look that she couldn't quite grasp. Something like hunger came to her mind… His lips turned into a smile.

"So?"

"Hmm?" she asked in confusion.

"Hungry?"

"Um…" She inhaled deeply. "Yes."

"Good, let's dine out tonight, then" he said and straightened up again.

Sense kicked back into her. _Finally_. "Wait, it's past midnight!"

"And?" he asked while closing the cabinet doors and putting her empty glass into the sink.

"Well, will there be a shop still open to serve us food?"

He turned towards her with a smile. "If you would go outside more often, you might know that this village actually has a night life. Besides, it's Friday night, of course…"

His voice grew silent, even though his lips were still moving. She stared up at him, blankly, while her mind flipped through her memories as if they were stored in a book of some sorts. She held her breath when it stopped on a particular memory from a few weeks ago.

It had been Friday night as well… they had been out looking for food… he had said that he wouldn't let her wander around the village all by herself… yet he had left her in front of a shop… _because she had refused to follow him…_ and she had ended up… in a dark side street… surrounded by a group of drunken men… who had… A tear escaped the corner of her eye while she still stared up at him, unblinkingly, holding her breath, unable to move. It had been her first evening out, her first time walking through Konoha, her first time… having felt like that. Vulnerable. Touched. Weak. Kissed. Helpless. Molested.

Another tear rolled down her cheek.

Now it was Kakashi's turn to move. She noticed that his lips had stopped moving. Concern had washed over his face. His eye looked unsmiling. Grave even. "Katsumi." The way he said her name… softly, alarmed, yet soothing… She blinked, inhaling as she did so.

_How embarrassing!_ Why was she still so upset about that incident? She shouldn't be! She wanted to be strong, not weak… She hastily raised her hand to wipe away the tears, but it was Kakashi's hand that stopped her mid-air. She looked at him a bit perplexed.

"Let's sit down for a moment, okay?" he then said in a quiet voice, pulling her along towards the living-room, where he motioned her to sit down on the couch, before he sat down beside her.

She watched him. _What was he doing?_

"I'd like to talk to you about what happened two weeks ago" he said, while looking at her, his hand still holding her wrist gently.

She swallowed. How could he know what was troubling her? Could he read her mind? Or was it that obvious? _Yeah, probably_. Besides, he was pretty good at combining things. And it really didn't seem to be hard to see that she didn't want to go outside. _Just because._

"Two weeks ago…" she whispered and lowered her gaze. She really didn't want to talk about that. "I… really don't want to talk about that" she then said.

"Katsumi." _His voice… was… so… calming…_ She inhaled deeply and sighed. _Seriously_.

"Well, what do you want to talk about?" she then exclaimed, looking at him, trying to act as tough as she possibly could. "Do you want to tell me how stupid it was to walk around alone and let myself being dragged into a side street…?"

He tilted his head.

She looked away again, feeling her eyes burning.

"No" he simply said. "I won't tell you that it was stupid or dangerous, because it wasn't your fault." She felt how his thumb drew circles on her wrist. "I wanted to know how you feel about that. You don't have to act tough, you know?"

That made the tears spill again. _Damn it!_

"Katsumi, tell me what happened."

Her breath increased in speed. She shook her head. "No… I… I don't want to tell you what happened because I already know that… I…" She broke off and started differently. "I ignored it, you know? Because I didn't think it was… important. It shouldn't be. Because I never wanted to feel like that again… I… I'm not weak" she added in a low whisper, staring at her knees. She tried to calm herself down by slowly inhaling and exhaling. It took her a while, but it worked.

She then looked up at him. He was watching her cautiously.

"It doesn't matter, okay? It was nothing. Besides… I…"

"Do you know why you had such a high temperature?" he suddenly asked, interrupting her.

"Huh?" Why was he changing the topic? Or was he assuming those things were connected?

She had successfully suppressed what had happened that night, so she hadn't thought about that or her fever. She had just assumed that her body knew best, and when it decided to raise her temperature, she didn't object (it wasn't as if she could have stopped it anyways). _"A fever is your body's way of letting you know something is wrong."_ And she had accepted it. Never had she questioned it.

She had never been someone to think too much about anything. Well, at least until she had discovered those things called emotions… but, well, let's say, she never thought about anything bad for too long. She usually suppressed it for good. It was her own way of dealing with problems. Her own defense mechanism. It had worked quite well in the past.

Because there hadn't been anyone to bring it up again.

"What do you mean?" she asked again.

"Your fever, you never wondered why you were sick all of a sudden?"

She tried to remain completely expressionless. Judging by the way he was looking at her, it didn't seem to work too well. "No, I didn't. I doubt it has anything to do with those…"

"What exactly do you remember of the incident?"

"I told you I don't want to…"

"Please, try to remember" he then said with an edge of urgency in his voice.

She frowned. "Well…" She didn't want to remember! She didn't want to… _Oh_. She held her breath as she remembered.

There she was in the dark side street… there were the men… there they were touching her… and there she was… what? She remembered yells of pain. The men had been in pain after touching her… What had happened? Then she recalled the sensation she had felt. The burning. The heat. The hot air surrounding her. The tingling on her skin. The boiling beneath. _What had happened?_

She blinked, looking down at her arms, absentmindedly running her free hand over her skin. Kakashi watched her with a curious gaze in his eye. She looked up.

"Something… happened to me. My skin… I…" she began, as something else crept into her mind. Something she had also suppressed… for quite a while.

She had been eight years old when her mother and father had first told her about it. She couldn't really recall all the details, she had been too young. All she remembered was "fire skin" of sorts, even though her parents had different names for that. They had said that this "fire skin" was something special to their family, their clan and that she should be proud about that ability because only their clan had it. They had not told her, however, how it would work. _"You'll learn it soon enough, sweetie" _her mother had said, while her father had smiled at her. _"When you're older."_

She was older now. Yet her parents were not around anymore to witness that.

Katsumi inhaled deeply to try and restrain herself from falling apart. The memory of her parents had been the most suppressed one in her mind, it had been somewhere in the back, where it was dark and where she would never go ever again… because it was just too painful to think about them…

Just when she was about to fully sink into the dark shadows of her past, she felt Kakashi's hand close tighter around hers. _His warmth… was…_ She closed her eyes.

"Fire skin" she then said, blinking away the tears that had gathered once again in her eyes. "That's what happened, right? My… clan had this ability. I never learned anything about it but that it was a special ability only my clan possessed… I never even learned how to use it…"

"Hmm" was all Kakashi had to reply to that.

She breathed in deeply, before she looked at him, watching him closely. "Do you know anything about that?" she then asked.

He turned his head towards her. "You expect me to know everything, don't you?" he replied with a soft smile.

Katsumi blinked. "Eh?"

* * *

Kakashi watched her. He had to change the topic. Quickly. She was being way too emotional. He should have known. Asking her about that incident two weeks ago… seriously, what was wrong with him? Of course she would have suppressed that memory. Yet he had been curious whether or not she knew about her Kekkei Genkai, the reason why those men hadn't been able to touch her.

Apparently, she had no idea whatsoever.

So it was called "fire skin". It made perfect sense.

"Do you know anything about that?" she had asked.

What was he supposed to tell her? _Yes, I know quite a bit about your Kekkei Genkai and about you and the demise of your clan?_ No, he couldn't tell her. She would immediately lose trust in him – and he didn't want that to happen. He had to make sure that she was safe. He had to lie.

"You expect me to know everything, don't you?" he had said, smiling at her, distracting her, changing the topic.

"Eh?" She seemed confused. Better confused, than emotionally unstable.

"Look, all I know is that your so-called "fire skin" caused those men to retreat. They couldn't touch you, right?" He watched her closely.

It hurt him to see how much that memory seemed to trouble her. Her lower lip was shaking slightly, as she batted down her eyes.

"Well, they could… but… not for long" Katsumi said barely audible.

She looked even more vulnerable. He couldn't even imagine how it must have been for her. That incident. Those men. Not being able to stop them… A wave of guilt rushed through him. It had been his fault. He should have saved her earlier. It wasn't as if she had been harmed badly, they had barely touched her, yet there was no way of denying that she had felt helpless, weak, vulnerable. They had invaded her privacy, they… he couldn't even think about it. He had no idea how she felt about it, yet he knew that he felt way too uncomfortable thinking about it.

"Katsumi" he said quietly.

She looked up slowly. As soon as their eyes had met, he pulled both arms around her and held her close, embracing her tightly, literally trying to squeeze every bad thought out of her body. He felt how she stiffened against him. She always did that, before she relaxed. He could only imagine that she must still feel weird about being close to someone. No wonder he had been the most surprised when she had confessed her feelings for him. It must have been the strangest thing for her…

Still holding her tightly, he pressed his lips lightly against her forehead and whispered: "I'm sorry, Katsumi. I'm sorry I made you remember."

She slowly raised her hands and placed them firmly on his chest. "It's okay" she then replied quietly, leaning her cheek against his neck. "I'm fine…"

She wasn't fine, he could tell. But digging deeper into the matter wasn't going to help her now. It would only make it worse. _Change the topic already! _He did so by pulling her onto his lap.

Over the past week he had grown more accustomed to her displays of affection. And yes, he was selfish enough to admit that he liked it. When he had gone home from his mission tonight, he had felt utterly exhausted and deeply annoyed. But then she had smiled at him, welcomed him home in such a warm manner, yes, he must have been a lifeless robot if his heart hadn't lightened up by the sight of her. So it was only natural to respond – even though it still felt quite unnatural for him. He just wasn't the overly affectionate type!

But he did his best.

She looked up at him when he pulled her closer to his chest. Her eyes were glittering. He raised a hand to wipe away the tears that were still caught in her lashes. She closed her eyes as he did so. Then she simply leaned against him, as if she had been the one who had been up all day, trying to keep his Genin under control. Yet he could imagine that it must be equally tiring to just sit around his apartment all day long…

"Katsumi" he said quietly after a while.

"Hmm?" she replied, her face buried in the hollow of his throat.

"You want me to teach you, don't you?" he then asked.

He felt how she froze for a moment, before she looked up at him. "How did you know?"

He smiled at her. "I can read minds" he responded. He couldn't, but it was always amusing that some people actually believed him to be able to do the weirdest things.

Katsumi narrowed her eyes. "No, you can't."

"Are you sure?" he played along, watching her closely.

"Well, what am I thinking right now?" she challenged him with a tiny smile.

It wasn't too hard to tell what she was thinking right now. She was surprised, happy and somehow relieved that he had picked up the topic again. He grinned wider, but instead of answering her, he leaned closer and kissed her. She blushed deeply.

"You're happy" he then whispered, his nose brushing against hers, and smiled. "Am I right?"

Her blush turned redder than her hair. She smiled shyly. "You are" she whispered.

Kakashi pulled her closer and held her tightly. "See, I can read minds" he said. "And if you want, I can teach you a few things about being a ninja."

She gently grabbed the collar of his vest, pulled herself up a little and placed her lips onto his cheek. "That would be great!" she replied, smiling broadly. "Thank you" she added in a low whisper and leaned against him again.

It wouldn't hurt to teach her a few basic things, really. Even though it was his mission to keep her safe and in Konoha, he somehow knew that she wouldn't always stay here. She would leave and she would need to defend herself in the outside world. So actually, he was more than doing her a favor. He prepared her. For whatever there might be coming.

And he knew for certain that Katsumi's life had some more bad surprises left for her.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ First of all: I AM SORRY, GUYS! Really sorry. I haven't updated in AGES! Literally. And I feel bad. But (and here comes the super-duper excuse…) I had so much other stuff to do. But to be honest: I just had a lot of trouble writing this chapter. Maybe it was just too pink and bright for me. Yeah, probably. But I somehow did it and here you go. _

_I hope this was worth the wait? Even though I fear that I lost all my readers by not updating as requested. I AM SORRY (again). I hope you can forgive me. Sort of. Oh well._

_Anyway. To answer the unspoken question of why the heck did you update now and not four months earlier? Four months ago, I started a new semester in which I had a LOT to do. University, you know? You think it's easy and there are lots of parties, but no, sometimes you do have to work hard too. And I did and forgot all about this story. I am to blame. I should learn to better manage my free time. But enough of this. It probably bores you as much as it bores me._

_So. Here was chapter 7. I am honest to you: Chapter 8 has not yet been written. That means: an update could take a while. Depending on how much motivation I have left. (For your notice, I am on break now, until April, BUT break doesn't mean parties and lots of free time, I still have to write a huge paper and an exam by the end of March. BUT (another one) I know myself: instead of learning, I'll probably do something else. And I hope for you that is writing another chapter. Hehe. Yeah.)_

_ANYWAYS: To this chapter. Did you like it? Do you have any suggestions/ideas on what I should be writing about? I would love to hear your input!_

_Also a very BELATED thank you to everyone who reviewed thus far. The more you guys review, the more I'll be motivated to please all my lovely readers! So, help me please you! (That sounded kind of wrong, didn't it?) Hehe, so, again: THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE!_

_In the __**next**__ chapter there will hopefully be some kind of twist because – seriously – all that pink-and-shiny-lovey-dovey-stuff is boring! So, expect a BOOM or a BAM or something!_

_**Disclaimer**__: _Naruto (and the Naruto-world and everyone inhabiting it) was created by Kishimoto Masashi. The character of Katsumi was created in my mind.


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